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Comment by quaffapint | Hacker News Reader

This is only based on how I read the article, and may not be the case at all, but it seems the OP comes across as rather selfish.

He gets bored and so he makes his wife and kids uproot their lives and go somewhere else. I've been in the same job and place for 15 years because it's steady work and place for the wife and kids. I often get bored with it, but deal with it - do different projects on the side, et al.

Again, just my take on it. For all I know the family enjoys it. Too often I read articles on guys with families that are more worried about themselves than their families and it just bugs me.

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Oh yes, selfish, that's me to a 'T' ;)

Of course it would never enter into my head to discuss these plans ahead of times with those involved and people are being dragged screaming and kicking to the furthest corners of the earth. And I pick the spot, every time.

Really, you couldn't be more wrong, if you want we can take this up via email (I've tried to keep my family members and private life out of my blog / public life as much as possible but I can see that in this case that isn't really doable without potentially giving the wrong impression).

The spot was picked by my s.o. in two cases and by me in the others, but we all agreed on roughly where we'd move ahead of time, in so far as agreement from small children counts they had a voice too, but if there would have been strong disagreement we'd definitely not have done any of this. For sure we enjoyed it and looking back there are definitely no regrets.

Again, I don't know the full story, just based on what and how I read the article. If your family enjoys it, then by all means it sounds great :]. Heck, maybe it's even better for them than sticking around.

It's just like I had mentioned, it seems more people these days think that they are privileged and they're too self centered and not seeing what their true role should be. It's an issue that bothers me and it's simply how I read the article.

"if you want we can take this up via email" sounded so much like "do you want to take this outside" ;-)

That's exactly what I thought. "Say that to my face, not online and see what happens."

It's a good day for getting things interpreted in the worst possible way. It is more because I don't want to spill the details of my family in an open access forum, not because I want to start a fight. Blogging about generalities is one thing, this is getting pretty specific.

I meant it more in the sense that's it's the online version of "taking it outside" and it sounded funny :p I wasn't meaning to highlight unintended interpretations.

I think a guest post by your spouse would be a really interesting read.

My wife and I are about 10 years behind you[1] and I have changed industries a few times now based on a similar itch. It's good to see the perspective of someone who has already gone down the path we're treading.

Your "skillz" also seem to greatly exceed my own[2] even with a 10 year head start. So I'm not sure how transferable your advice/viewpoint are to my family's life journey. Even so, I think it a pretty valuable read.

Please consider having your spouse and/or children give their perspective on this nomadic lifestyle.

[1] Age-wise. I'm not sure about where our kids are in relation to yours. Our oldest is approaching 10. Are yours older?

[2] Or maybe you filter out your failures preferring to post positive-only articles?

Oldest is 19. Re. 2, I've blogged extensively about my failures so I don't think I only post positive articles.

>Of course it would never enter into my head to discuss these plans ahead of times with those involved and people are being dragged screaming and kicking to the furthest corners of the earth. And I pick the spot, every time.

From the article:

>So on average every 5 years I pick up those that are dear to me and some stuff and move and/or shift into a new line of business.

I'm sure you can forgive him for thinking that, considering the way it was phrased in the post.

Especially when you follow that line up by saying how hard it is on others in your life, but it's natural to you. And on top of that, the major reason for all of this is simply that you apparently get bored.

I'm sure things are not as one-sided as your blog post suggests, but the way it was written lends itself to misinterpretation.

I think you're judging a person you don't know, and that is unfair. If you look at the list of the places he's moved, it's mostly the Netherlands with two (back to back) stints in Canada. That doesn't sound exactly like a nomadic globetrotter, and every five years isn't that often.

As a counter point, I moved around quite a bit when I was a kid, I never lived in one place for more than a year from when I was 12, and before that, I had lived in 5 different houses (4 of which were in the same city).

It wasn't until I was 36 or 37 that I stayed in one house for 3 years. Then I was on the move again, and I still continue to move every year.

I don't have a wife or kids to slow me down, but it is just a way of life that many people can't appreciate. The OP is stable compared to many of us.

I think this is an unreasonable judgement, which only reflects the fact that the OP has made different life decisions than you have.

Bringing your family stability is a noble cause, but OP's children get to experience a breadth of culture (among other benefits), for which they will surely be grateful.

In an exercise thread yesterday, he talked about helping rebuild his neighbor's house. :-) But in your defense, I also read the article as slightly selfish. Perhaps an explanation of how his sig other enjoys the challenges and how they are teach their kids to adapt to change would have changed the tone.

I suppose this also depends on what you consider 'default'. Who says the default should be to stay in one place for decades? Leaving and staying each have advantages and disadvantages, but as far as I can tell neither has proven to be generally the 'best' option.

In fact, my experience is that those who do move around generally seem to lead a happier and fulfilling life, but that's just my experience perhaps.

My point is that staying behind for 'stability' could be equally selfish. Uprooting your life in itself is not selfish, however the way you do this could make is to.

What makes you so sure that his family would prefer not to move?

Your argument isn't any stronger than his would be if he accused you of being selfish for denying your family the opportunity to see more of the world.

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