If You Were Replacing Steve Ballmer, What Would You Do?

>Engineering work can be (somewhat) tracked by lines of code written, lines of code reviewed, bugs per line of code...

So don't do any work except code reviews and implement features really slowly without any bugs, but as verbosely as possible with as many lines of code as possible. Then you have tons of lines of code, few bugs per line of code (since it's so verbose there's a ton of lines of code)

Those metrics don't work, even if I completely agree with the premise of the article (it's a people problem)