Married to a Doll: Why One Man Advocates Synthetic Love
theatlantic.com
theatlantic.com
I'll take "Opening lines from novels I wish I'd written" for $200, Alex...
But...when I try to get past that to offer a constructive comment, I can see one way in which the dolls are appealing. Having been in a longterm relationship (with an organic woman), I appreciate what Davecat called "consistencies" — the idea that another person will simply be present when you get home from work.
After a while, I think, we learn to appreciate our partners' company without needing to speak or be doing things constantly. And I can see how a humanized object could serve that purpose for people who're unwilling or who don't want the added responsibilities of having an "organic" partner.
Synthetic love is one-way, you can't really advocate for it without saying a lot about yourself, about how you value relationships with other people and about the total lack of respect and futility of your life.
I prefer the people around me to be hot-blooded, real life, complex and interesting human beings. If you're reading this article and you're thinking 'wow, that's just the ticket for me', please take my advice, shut down your computer for a couple of months and spend all the money that you have travelling. Being around people and interacting with them is the best cure for this kind of funk.
And "revel in the presence of other people!" probably isn't going to cajole you from the dungeon when social trauma is what mired you in your funk to begin with.
He probably found a coping mechanism for damage done.
Perhaps, at some point, self-medicating with things you pretend are human in a one-bedroom apartment in southeastern Michigan isn't so different than self-medicating with travel.
It's easy to think people can just snap out of their worries and issues, but do you really think that advice to someone with what seems to be serious people issues is going to be productive?
He didn't strike me as depressed, just completely lacking in empathy.
Likewise, his little invented back-stories for his dolls are not so materially different than say my relationship with my girlfriend. I don't and can't truly know my girlfriends existence; everything I know about her is basically a story I tell myself based on the things she says to me and what I assume or surmise myself. If it turned out one of these days that she had been completely and totally dishonest with me about who she was - everything I thought I knew about her was not true - in a lot of ways our relationship would have been just as much a fantasy as Davecats.
I'm not prepared to go in for it myself, or even consider it totally healthy and desirable...but he seems to have a good handle on it and I wouldn't be too quick to judge him. Maybe he is a little nuts, but so are most people I have met.
To me this seem like people who have been hurt in some ways, and are doing what they can to survive.
The thing that worries me is that there are a lot more people out there that are more like him, than there are people who've been able to make that special connection with someone else.
Just because its hi-tech or the latest "innovation" doesnt make it right for our development as a people. First the erosion of the village, then neighborhood and it ends with preferring to have "synthetic" people to interact with rather than real ones. The undoing of our social fabric may be the undoing of us as a whole. (Someone remake idiocracy with fem-bots!)
Thinking that you get the same from a doll is simply delusional...
>However, that 1 percent of unfulfillment? That's only there because neither Sidore nor Elena are Gynoids. Once that technology becomes affordable, I'll have one made in my wife's likeness, and that'll be the final piece of the puzzle. She'd be able to hug me back whenever I embrace her, we'd be able to attend films and concerts together, and do all manner of things besides. There would be genuine interaction.
>I'm not interested in having someone in my life who may bail at any time, or who transforms into someone unpleasant.
According to the above quotes it seems he does indeed want a relationship with a real person, but he just wants that person to be submissive and totally devoted to his whims; in other words, the perfect slave. The problem here isn't the dolls. He's entitled to own them and enjoy their presence. But he's not entitled to compare them to real persons or claim that they are more than objects.
So yes, I am going to judge him. It's clear to me he has a really unhealthy and controlling attitude towards others.
For example, I found out Russian women do not contain smaller Russian women inside them.
Women have given us an unrealistic image of dolls. :)
I confess -- the above is a recycled '60s joke, which went, "Reality is merely a crutch for those unable to face up to drugs."
He's unable to handle the unpredictability of a relationship with another person or the lack of control over their actions, so he resorts to dolls who can never question him. The fact is that the article scares me a bit, since I can totally see a lot of people being attracted to dolls to escape the maturity, responsibilities, and skills needed to deal with real people.
He could be very happy as a Muslim.
It isn't that well written, but does have several interesting angles beyond being a sex toy. What happens if the robot is able to prepare your meals - will you eat better? Or act as a personal trainer? Heck what if it can go through all your stuff, work out what you don't use and put it on eBay?
Even the masochists are enjoying their will being carried out when they are made to hurt.
To truly love, you need to love an other. Any pantomime that a possession can act out will ultimately be less love.
By the way, when everyone has robo-butlers putting their spare stuff on ebay, the price of stuff on ebay is going to collapse.
That said it's his life and he's not harming anyone so who minds what he does with his life or his toys. It does seem he has some unresolved back-story, but that's neither for me to judge or care about.
But seriously, this is an interesting perspective on life. What I take away from it is that if you want 70% sex and 30% companionship (read: silently sitting there while you talk about your boring life) from someone, perhaps you should just shell out the $6000 for a doll and save that hypothetical other human years of therapy.