Things I've Learned in my 20's
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1. Learn now, making time for it later will be very difficult and require sacrifice.
2. Maintain informal human connections via facebook, twitter etc. It’s easy to be smug and say I only value friends who I talk with in real life, but the reality for the youth today is that you will be lonely and miss out on events by being a snob. (Also, no one will email you photographs, ever.)
3. Don't take (older) family for granted. Get your grandparents a cheap cell and teach them how to text, they will love you for it. Get your Grandpa playing an older version of Civ on an old laptop etc. Don’t bother with extended family events, cousins, siblings that you don’t enjoy, spend your time with friends instead.
4. Find a job that you enjoy (and work won’t seem like work, some of the time.) Also, be good at it, don’t half-ass it early on.
5. Be more supportive to those around you, colleagues and friends alike. Have them realise you are crutch that can be there when they need it, don’t be a doormat.
6. Realise how lucky you are never to have endured real hardship. (This goes for most suburban raised/affluent human beings on earth, not the small percentage that truly started from nothing.)
7. Choose saving over spending outwith means. Do everything you can thrifty, trip to Europe in your 20’s? Stay in a hostel with other fun people, business class and that cool boutique hotel can wait. You can leverage the money into better things later if you already have a solid amount of cash on hand. Be that buying a home when you get the opportunity, amazing holidays with a partner when you really need the luxury r&r, providing for your children without any negligible detriment to your quality of life etc etc.
8. Don’t forget things that are important. Use photographs, a diary, self email or a text file on your desktop... Whatever works for you.
9. Enjoy food and drink in your 20’s as later on it will be a case of “Everything in moderation.” (I’d tag on find a sport/hobby you love and it won’t feel like exercise in the future when your body needs it... Swimming, walking, martial arts, anything!)
10. People = Sh#t. This is just me as I’m quite the (cartoon) nihilist, but please respect peoples boundaries because some people like to be left alone, don’t encroach on others personal space.
11. Don't Forget to Tell Your Spouse How Much You Love Them. I kind of agree, but instead I’d say remember it’s not the end of the world if you don’t have one and if you do, remember to work at it... Try not to be a d#ck.
That's a good point. Eating tasty and healthy stuff is very important and it adds a lot to a quality life.
But it is also true, that the amount of food you should eat gets less and less the older you get. The only way to still feel good is to eat really fresh and tasty things, no junk food and very little sweet and fat stuff. We even have a glass of wine for nearly every dinner. The hard thing is to stop after one glass, but this can be achieved.
This, in balance with a good sport, and there will be no health or weight problems. The real trick is to keep the ability of the body to get the energy from the (fat) reserves. Overweight people lose this ability, thats why they carry calories for a year and are still always hungry. Regular workouts help a lot.
I am so happy, that I started competitive swimming when I was 13. And I am also happy, that I got out of this drill early enough, to still enjoy swimming (now, 35 years later). Doing this 2-3 times a week since I can remember makes it really easy and enjoyable. Going only once a month would be hell instead (and totally without effect).
So, yes, eat healthy and find a sport today. Never skip running/swimming or whatever you choose.
Could you expand on this? I like to think I'm good at respecting boundaries, but at the same time I generally operate outside of what most people consider 'boundaries' precisely because my experience is that people like this.
Obviously, this should be done with care, and I think I am careful, but I'd love to hear what you find typical of people crossing your boundaries.
In a different scenario, a bar or a coffee shop etc, I think it's more acceptable as you are out in public anyway and then idle chatter is always going to be part and parcel of spending time in such places and I am generally ok with it.
1. Most people are alright, but avoid the few who aren't like the plague.
I've always had the fortune to not lose my trust in people, but I've found that it took me a significant time in my twenties to learn how to filter out the bad people (perhaps because of this). Especially bad partners.
The converse can also be true. I know people who seem to have based their entire outlook on a few shitty people in their lives (sadly, parents are often the culprits), and miss out on connections, and opportunities, because they assume the worst.
Finding a balance in this regard, I believe, has been one of the things that most increased my general quality of life, and (moderate) success.
2. Lots of people are lonely
Perhaps this mostly applicable to post-college life, but I've been shocked to find out how many people around me feel isolated and lonely. Knowing this, however, helped in gaining the courage to approach others, knowing that they are just as willing to make new friends as I am.
One thing I've started to learn in my 20's is to really enjoy myself. Seems fairly important, don't know why I didn't think of it earlier...
1. My only true regrets are the opportunities I failed to take.
When I was younger, I thought that my intellect would take me more places than it actually has. I was never social (and we moved around a lot), so - even now - I find it very hard to figure people out. It's something I try to work on every day but it's very much a work still in progress.
I would add though, that 'figuring people out' is not the most important thing. I've wasted many hours in my twenties in attempting to do this, but what works best, in my opinion, is to just be as transparent, direct, and uncomplicated as possible, combined with an assumption that the other means well, and kindness. Avoid drama.
Some of the most popular/liked people I know, interestingly, are not always nice. More important, it seems, is that they are consistent. You know what you get, and you can either take it or leave it.
12. Don't be afraid to share your thoughts with strangers.