Has anyone here been through this? Do you have any advice?
2) It's really all about balance. You probably need a good mixture of the following to be happy: socializing, exercise, work, alone time. A lot of times situations occur where you have to sacrifice one area for another. Like with a startup, you probably have to work a lot more and won' have time for other things. For this reason, I think startup life is unsustainable (because it'll probably make you sacrifice too much socializing/alone time/exercise). However, the upsides of startups are still great, and I think worthwhile, so I think it'd make sense to make a ton of money from a startup after working for a few years, and then rebalance your life afterwards and benefit from the money.
3) Friendships seem to be a function of repeated, unplanned interactions, and of situations that encourage you to let your guard down. http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/15/fashion/the-challenge-of-m.... I'd suggest doing something you love, or starting a new hobby. I meet a lot of people playing basketball. You could take a kickboxing class, or a guitar class, or a dancing class. But maybe you don't want to pay money. Maybe theres a ton of people like you. Maybe there's an opportunity to organize a group of people together, each an expert in something, and you guys take turns teaching each other something new and fun...
A) Instead of driving straight home, stop at a park and walk around. B) If you are the first person to leave, be the last person to leave. C) If you always take the same streets home, purposefully take a different path.
Here's another habit you could change: the ride to work:
A) Instead of driving to work, see if there is a way to carpool, walk, or ride a bike to work. B) Wake up one hour earlier than normal and be the first person in a local coffee shop in the morning. C) Instead of listening to the radio or music, find a podcast or sit in silence.
The idea behind making slight changes to your daily habit actions is that they can cause unknown, unintended, changes (like the butterfly effect) that will lead you down a different path than the one you're on now. In addition to small changes in your habit actions, here are some pretty standard things you can do to "have a life" and "make friends."
1) Be thankful for the life you already have. 2) When someone asks you to do something you wouldn't normally do, consider doing it this time. 3) Join a local church. 4) Find a local meetup on meetup.com. 5) Start a new habit and do something consistently to see who else is doing that same thing consistently. Talk to that person. 6) Help someone younger than you or older than you without expecting to get paid. 7) Look for ways to volunteer. 8) Join a coworking facility. 9) Consistently visit a bar or coffee shop at a certain time. 10) Be the friend you want to have - invite other people to lunch with you, tell other people what you are doing and invite them to join you, throw a party at your house or apartment, rent out a gym and play some dodgeball, join a softball or kickball league, play a pick-up basketball game at the local park.
To do the things you're not doing now, you're going to have to do the things you're not doing now. That means taking a different path through life, doing things a little bit differently, going places you normally don't go, doing things you normally don't do - and being consistent about it.
When you find yourself doing this, go home. You think you're doing something bad, but you are not. Your output will get better, in fact. You are not at some fortune 500 company where you need to play politics by appearing busy. You are at a startup where you need to DO GOOD WORK OR YOU WILL BE OUT OF WORK. Go. Home. Let your product do the talking.
The main tactic I've took was to make friends with people from work. This introduced me to the social circle of several people, especially second tier, friends of my coworkers. This had good crop of friends but not enough nor quality.
The second tactic I've took was dating women. Every woman I met in person I was proposing stuff, to do things, practically, this was my shameless attitude and gave many fruits, especially because Europeans love the active attitude to the passive one. Dating out with girls I met more friendly people, but the bad thing was that leaving the girl i was losing also mostly of their friends.
The third tactic was going to conferences and meetups small issues where I met people who liked the same thing to me, basically, is where most friends did and where I had more sexual adventures too :). Basically, after meetups I invited everyone to party at my flat, or dinner, the usual stuff europeans do.
After 11 years I can not complain, I feel supported by my friends.
What I learned is: learn more languages to speak the the most possible people and be open, relaxed and careless. Life came a bit easier this way. I don't know if this can apply perfectly at USA but in Europe isn't so easy as in Latinamerica.
But I chose to live nearby a university so I go to Starbuck and stuff and talk to students there, mostly women.
On Friday and Sat I go out and hit on women at clubs. Shrug. I'm also going to go to the University gym twice a week and take some improv and probably vocal coach. I also chose to stay in touch and live nearby an area where my friends are within a 50 miles radius.
Spend those money on hobbies and building your life.
http://www.meetup.com/dynlangchile/ https://www.startupdigest.com/digests/chile (email carlos - he's the kind of guy who's always happy to chat to anyone!) http://stgomakerspace.com/
they're all kind of nerdy, but once you know people you can branch out...
if you're already into something, like climbing or mountain biking, or skiing, i bet there are groups you can join. i went mountain biking a couple of times out east and met people just because we were getting injured together... or how about the local music scene? you could try going to concerts (look in la tercera or el ciudadano or the clinic something). there are courses at cine hoyts la reina (easy to get to on metro) where you go watch films and chat about them (my partner just signed up for one, but she's taken and probably twice your age anyway). the craze last summer (i think, maybe the year before - i am old and out of touch) was doing circus tricks. you could pay to learn. seemed like a way to meet people. or dancing lessons. do you play football? many people here play once a week for fun - try your local sports centre and see if they have a noticeboard.
what nationality / colour are you? if you're white here, getting a date should not be so hard! don't any co-workers have sisters? if you don't speak spanish well, offer english lessons to cute natives (how can that possibly fail? just stick some fliers up... you can even get paid at the same time! this is such a good idea i want to be single again)
oh, and get invited to a barbecue on the 18th. you must work with some chileans? i'd guess someone would be happy to invite you to a barbecue. you can meet people there. everyone will be at a barbecue that day.
or if violence is more your thing, well, a week before...
another idea - get involved with the elections. i bet they're looking for volunteers.
What might be calling you?