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Funniest reviews

amazon.com

123 pointstonteldoos36 comments

If you've never seen it, the Tuscan Whole Milk reviews have become a work of art. No, really. Go to http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00032G1S0/ref=azfs_379213722_Tusca... and start reading.

However my favorite Amazon review of all time remains The Story of Ping: http://www.amazon.com/review/R2VDKZ4X1F992Q

"Dante's seminal work on MS Windows, Inferno" had me cracking up pretty hard.

This deserves a subreddit.

http://www.reddit.com/r/HumorousReviews

This was one of the first, David Hasselhoff CD review: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0000070S1/002...

>The Story About Ping has earned a place on my bookshelf, right between Stevens' Advanced Programming in the Unix Environment, and my dog-eared copy of Dante's seminal work on MS Windows, Inferno. Who can read that passage on the Windows API ("Obscure, profound it was, and nebulous, So that by fixing on its depths my sight -- Nothing whatever I discerned therein."), without shaking their head with deep understanding. But I digress.

That had me cracking up.

Short link without affiliate code, in case anyone cares.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/?docId=1001250201

Why would/should I care? Honest question, I don't know much about the affiliation programme.

Allowing submissions with an affiliate code encourages people to submit material to HN that has no intellectually gratifying qualities (see guidelines) in the hopes that thousands click through, and their future purchases are tracked and a commission paid to the submitter.

I wanted to share this link with my Twitter followers, but noticed that there was an affiliate code in it; I did't want them to think I posted it for money.

The reviews of the Uranium Ore can are the most hilarious:

"It is not cat food…. The cat's huge and well, doesn't really look much like a cat anymore."

"I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty."

Though it would not be half empty, as there would be Pb now.

True, but the joke isn't funny if you pedantically stick with the truth.

HN crowd knows to chuckle for a joke and also question its validity at the same time :)

Apparently it goes well together with some Unicorn Meat. (Frequently bought together section) http://www.amazon.com/dp/B000796XXM/ref=azfs_379213722_Urani...

It's nice to see Amazon embracing this in a positive way. One of my all-time favourites was the "Harry Potter vibrating broomstick". It took a while to find but here are some of the reviews: http://www.methodshop.com/gadgets/reviews/potters-stick/inde...

Nice to see Amazon doing something like this. My favorite Amazon review has to be for Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme. The first one always makes me chuckle http://www.amazon.co.uk/Veet-Men-Hair-Removal-Creme/dp/B000K...

I cried with laughter the first time I read these. Some of the most creative euphemisms I've ever heard...

If you're willing to excuse the language in the reviewer I genuinely cried with laughter when I read this. The review probably cried too but for different reasons.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B000KKNQBK

(The most helpful review - not linking directly to the review so you can see the product.)

On a receiver cable:

"The most horrific thing of all was that after having spent 300 years crawling to the system to unplug said cable, my brother was unable to control the sheer power of such a quality signal and like an ancient psychedelic Mr Miyagi struggling with a running fire hose, pointed the beam directly into his face."

This is a comedy gold mine. I love that Amazon curates these.

If you are amused by this you should subscribe to /r/wtfamazon over at reddit.

It is rare that 'a funny review' makes you buy the product, however I did after reading about 'Chompy', let me quote:

Is it possible to become emotionally attached to a kill-crazy cannibalistic worm that looks like a facehugger from the Alien movies and spends most of its time attempting to eat its siblings? Having recently shed a tear while burying my last one - Chompy - in the back garden, I'd say yes. These little beasties inspired fear and disgust in my girlfriend, but to me they were true friends.

The rest of the review:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/review/R3V27MXZINXUSL/ref=cm_cr_rdp_...

Just to add to the mix, a great restaurant review: http://www.london-eating.co.uk/review-comments/123446.htm (more comments here: http://aroundbritainwithapaunch.blogspot.co.uk/2008/01/take-...)

The reviews for 'Haribo Sugarless Gummy Bears' are pretty excellent as well. Only in massive intestinal distress can true poetry be written.

http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Gummy-Candy-Sugarless-5-Pound/p...

This review about Cattle Prod ( yes, they sell those on amazon ) is pure gold.

http://www.amazon.com/review/R14IVEZTWB0C1H/ref=cm_cr_pr_cmt...

If you speak french, this is way funnier: funny review about a giant swiss army knife - http://www.amazon.fr/Wenger-19201-Couteau-suisse-g%C3%A9ant/...

The UK version of this was going to be my recalled suggestion: http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B000R0JDSI

The reviews on one of Snooki's (Nicole Polizzi) books are also hilarious. http://www.amazon.com/Shore-Thing-Nicole-Snooki-Polizzi/prod...

Be careful the link is tagged with an affiliate tag, so if you buy anything next they get a cut

Why should you be careful?

This one for the secret is a classic. http://www.amazon.com/review/R2X2TB3S4O5I60

By the way, going from any of the listed products to the recommended products yields a flurry of facetious reviews certainly worth checking out.

is "how to avoid huge ships" a real book? all reviews on it are great

Yes: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Avoid_Huge_Ships

That is one of the 532 "Internet Memes" which I now need to read about: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Internet_memes

Extremely important skill if you're sailing, and not as easy as it would first appear (they move a lot faster than you would expect). Not that I would read/write a whole book on the subject.

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