Why wouldn't you consider it a violation of privacy simply because another person provided information about you? If you had friends and family who intentionally shared any information you provided in private, you would have no problem with that, and think it should be a generally acceptable societal norm?

The idea that any information you share beyond your own mindspace is up for grabs by any method seems bizarre to me.

It is simply too inconvenient to live in a way where you give up zero information about yourself to everyone. It shouldn't be a black or white decision when it comes to sharing any information, but it's to the advantage of companies that make money on other people's information to want people to believe such a severe stance on personal information is a reasonable choice people have to face.