I've also had the "get on board or leave" speech thrown at me. More times then not, those words are a sign to run away as fast as possible.
This guy is a joke and his product is a joke.
"The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great or small. 'Off with his head!' she said, without even looking round."
- Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, 1865
Yes the old "we only want true believers here", people you can abuse endlessly and treat like animals.
There was case like that in Germany. But the guy accepted and company had to pay him three month salary for compensation. He was 'hired' back after couple of days of holiday.
I'm going to get this speech in about 48 hours (flying to HQ at the moment). What's your advice?
For the meeting itself, not so easy.
Part one: Come up with a plan for the meeting. Best if you know what "on board" means and come up with some believable actions or things you can do in the future showing you ARE. Find some explanations why you were not in the past, even if it means to only find expalnations why your boss thinks you're not "on board". Maybe you even know what kind of agenda your boss has for himself, this adds a lot of usefull context to the points mentioned above.
Part two: Use the time you bought yourself to find something better elsewhere. There are people that can addopt enough and get "on board" (whatever that really means), but I'm none of those.
In cases like this, it's all about how a situation is percieved and not how it really is.
Hope it helped a little bit. And even if it's not easy, don't worry or even panic, stay calm and polite. Be prepared, but don't argue any points before they are brought up by someone else.
Disclaimer: Had one meeting like that myself, came up with a defense a couple of weeks later, left 4 months later. Teached me to be prepared for meetings like this.
2: Explain why you are not performing - look for the underlying causes for demotivation. Is it that you believe the company direction is wrong? your co-workers are gooding off? your external commitments (family, sickness, another gig), competitors?, a particular senior person who is deflating things? Simple lack of a challenge (a good one), demotivatingly low income?
3: Explain what has to change in order for you to stay. Some challenging work that is focussed at the root of the company's issues is goof. More autonomy, more time spent at the coal face, better targets, training, better air cover - what ever it is. Be genuine and make sure that if these issues are fixed, then so is your motivation and ability.
4: Agree on a "it gets fixed or I leave" plan with your boss. His or her role is to fix the issues, and your role is to respond with results. Agree to monthly check-ins and make sure you each know where you stand at all times.
If the answer to 1: and 2: is "shut up and get back to work" then it's clear where you stand. Shut up, get back to work and start a frenetic job search.
I would not advise you to quit on the spot, as fun as that could be. Make them fire you per the terms of your contract, or (obviously better) negotiate a graceful exit for both parties.
Good luck.
It's not really motivational or inspiring when someone tells you "my way or the highway". When "my way" has been a failure thus far.
Although rare, the sign of a good leader is to accept and acknowledge failure and correct the issues.
If this does turn out to be a joke its one of the best publicity stunts in history.
Of-course if it is not a joke/stunt. All the best to Lenz