Ask HN: What is your significant other like? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: What is your significant other like?

15 pointsladybro7 comments

Obviously this question is very unrelated to a lot of the usual tech information that fills Hacker News, but this question has been piquing my interest lately.

As an engineer, I seem to differ significantly from my friends in what I look for and enjoy in terms of the opposite sex. Many of the qualities that I seek in a relationship aren't important or even mentionable to those in different professions.

Did you marry another engineer? A CS major? A PR major? How is your SO similar to you? How are they significantly different? Have these differences helped/hurt your relationship?

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My SO is of the same sex so in that context we're rather similar.

He's in tech, so am I but he's in media, I'm a devop. It allows us to both be nerdy, around each other, but not have our lives revolve around that. We can talk nerdy but since we already live in that we tend to do other things when we're together. It balances things out in a nice way. We can also both understand that sometimes you need to pull crazy hours and that things like that are just expected of us. Being in the same domain helps in our case but I wouldn't bet on that being something you should look for in a good relationship.

I'm more routine bound, I have things that I need to do a certain way, my way. He's far less obsessive in that except for when it comes to planning events, like a holiday, where I'm totally relaxt and last-minute and he's stressed out just by thinking about all that needs to be done.

I never look for specific qualities in people I gather around me nor did I build up a profile about my partner. Most people I meet and stick with I just click with. It's not something professional, we don't necessarily share the same hobbies, it's just a feeling of recognising something in that person and simply knowing it's all good.

As far as my experience goes, it's better to let certain things in life just happen to you than go look for something specific. I'm not saying it's not good to have a plan for your future, things you wish to achieve. But my friends and partner all just happend to me, sometimes at the most crazy moments in my life, but I'm very glad they all did.

Completely unlike me; a liberal arts major and works on Broadway. Much more creative than I am - she prefers to talk about more down to earth, entertaining things (T.V. we're watching, her day working with actors/actresses, etc.) than computer architecture, and she loves being artistic (painting, drawing, singing).

That said, she's very intelligent, but not technically so. I'm the kind of person who sucks up knowledge like a sponge - she doesn't get the same kind of joy out of reading Wikipedia :).

To be clear, I love this setup. It's really wonderful being with someone completely non-technical for a host of reasons. The worst thing that comes up is that she asks me to debug her computer once in a while.

EDIT: Read the other comments. I do find she has the same sense of humor as me (I think that's really important), and I think that's really important. In situations like this I think it's really important that we're both open to different lifestyles for it to be compatible. She's very open to listening to the intricate details of a programming language, and I get pleasure out of learning how professional theatre operates (to give one example).

We're a lot alike in a many ways. My husband is also a developer (though more as a hobbyist the past few years - he also owns a local computer repair shop).

We both share a love of strategy gaming, we're both introverts, atheists, liberal. Neither of us are particularly outdoorsy or sporty. He's much better at math, and I'm much more expressive, artistically.

He plays more video games than I do and I watch more documentaries than he does. He's a bit of a dreamer. I'm a bit more pragmatic.

We both have a very similar sense of humor.

We both have our own particular hobbies/interests that the other doesn't share, though. Sometimes I think it would be nice if we did, but I think the differences are also probably very important and healthy, too.

My SO is of the same sex. We are both in tech, he is more of a ux designer (though he started as a rails engineer), and I am more backend. We hack together often, and constantly inspire each other to be disruptive in what we put together.

For me, I look for people in tech. My ex was also an engineer, give it up for the bay area and having so many chill, cute, stoner-engineer types. I love having a boyfriend that understands "You.kind_of? Cute == true". Having somebody to come home to that understands what I did today, and understanding his challenges and being able to communicate about it is awesome. There is no "translation" layer, I feel like this helps communication.

We have plenty of differences, he is into home-improvement, I am into lots of music production. In general, we are more similar than other couples I've met. We have enough differences to keep it interesting, and enough in common that we never run out of things to talk about!

Completely different in regards to tech. She got her first email address just 4 years ago and doesn't really understand what I do for work. Most importantly though we share the same values and sense of humor. So it doesn't hurt in the least. She's a nurse.

She's a writer and has a masters in social-sciences. Her interests are mostly helping people; making a fortune or even a living are uninteresting to her. We make a wonderful combination.

Quite like me, also nerdy. She's better at math than I am, I am a bit more risk-tolerant than she is. I'm very good friends with my wife and we also share a similar sense of humor, two things that I think are very important.

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