I wish I didn't know

I don't believe in intelligence, I don't believe in IQ, I don't believe that one person is smarter than another person.

I know this isn't HN material, but I've been drinking wine and taking my Klonopins and figured I would vent.

I hate my knowledge but I love my knowledge. I'm so unhappy and wish I didn't know. I wish I was stupid and lived in ignorant bliss. I wish I didn't have to drink and smoke to ignore it all.

I have "major depressive disorder" and I know where it stems from. I know too much. I read too much. I want to learn too much.

I wanted to be a genius when I was a child, I really didn't care about much else. I don't believe in the word genius anymore, because knowledge isn't intelligence.

I feel like there are many out there that feel the same. I feel like you visit this site. I know many of us have knowledge, but we don't know wrong from right.

I'm sorry you feel this way too, I wish that there was something that we could do. I think it's hopeless, but please tell me what to do.