I can see where you're coming from and I think that your argument would be stronger if you took your own feelings out of it. For example, you say that you find it insulting that they'd ask you to pay for their salary. Well, why should it matter to anyone else that you feel insulted? If that's your reaction then they're probably not talking to you. Besides that - why should anyone care about whether you feel insulted? You also mention that you feel no sympathy for the family argument because of your experiences. In this context, why does that matter? I don't mean this to be dismissive of you personally; I'm just trying to share my minor analysis.

You also say that you're not suggesting they're running a scam but at the same time you compare their outreach to a money grab.

I don't know, perhaps your arguments are very good ones and I am a heartless bastard because they don't sway me. At their root, it seems like you're saying that these guys are proposing something that violates your sense of fairness somehow. I'd be interested in seeing an argument that applies more universally, and not just that you personally find it unfair.

Myself, I think the cool thing about crowdfunding is that it's so open and free. I might personally find it frustrating or unfair that money gets allocated in a way that doesn't match my values, but too bad for me!