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Comment by stevoski | Hacker News Reader

I'm quite certain this is a cultural difference. What you find to be rude or inattentive is considered polite in some European countries. For a waiter to be appearing at the table often, unsummoned, is rude in Germany, for example.

If you want the waiter, so etiquette says, you'll summon him/her.

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Seconded. As a Brit living in the US I often find US waitstaff's behavior intrusive. In particular, the 'is everything OK?' asked five minutes after the main course is served always bemuses me, especially when it interrupts someone talking. It's cultural for sure.

The reason they come back right after delivering the food is so they can make sure your meal is as you ordered. Is something cold or taste especially bad? Was the wrong sauce or filling used by the cook?

Everyone understands that as the reason for it, but it doesn't make it less rude or overbearing.

If I have a problem with the food, I'll get a waiters attention - perhaps with a snap of my fingers - which is expected and not at all rude and let the waiter know.

Snapping my fingers at the waiter isn't something I'd ever do in the US though.

Finger snapping would be viewed as rude in Ireland & UK as well.

In other words, they trust neither their own ability to take the order correctly, nor the kitchen staff's ablility to fulfill.

More like they are accounting for any source of human error which is impossible to completely eliminate even with a top-quality staff.

Yes. And unit tests are only for programmers too sloppy to get everything right the very first time, all the time.

I expect code to be wrong.

I expect writing to have minor flaws.

I expect a sandwich to be a sandwich.

Mistakes that aren't noticed by the time all the food is handed out should be rare, and there's no problem in flagging someone down in that case.

I'm an aussie and I find it really annoying as well. Definitely cultural. Be polite & friendly at point of order, and then stay out of the way.

A reply below you says its to make sure you got what you ordered, etc. I could count on a few fingers the times ive ever got the wrong thing/meal, and then you just ask.

The primary reason they do this is less altruistic, though. Once you've agreed that the meal (as presented) is satisfactory, you're on the hook to pay the bill.

Bar/restaurant owner here, and I assure you, this is NEVER the reason we check on the table.

As an American living in the US, I also find the "is everything OK?" interruption to be especially annoying.

One thing I've noticed, though: this happens in chain restaurants regularly, but in smaller, independent restaurants only rarely.

It's not really cultural: I think it's a product of the disconnect that naturally occurs when people without any feet-on-ground presence are making policies to be followed by the staff, and the other end of the feedback loop isn't isn't in place.

Yeah sometimes the "overtly polite" and very smiley and friendly attitude I get from (the small amount of interaction) with American service staff just seems so fake and saccarine at times.

http://freefall.purrsia.com/ff1100/fv01077.htm

How do you summon them? Just shout across the restaurant?

not sure if you are trying to be sarcastic or just lack experience. while you can always shout or call out politely, you can also waive at the passing server (it doesn't have to be the one that served you). and if you find shouting too crude you can just excuse yourself from the table and walk to the waiter. at most restaurants the servers are on standby if their guests need any attention, but that does not require them to show up at the table to check if you enjoying your meal.

I don't think it's a common experience in America.

I was eating at an Italian restaurant in Miami. Two beachgoers came in a bit after me, stared at the menu for 15 minutes, and left in a huff. Even if they had looked around the restaurant in a grumpy "where the fuck is our waiter" manner, he would've been at their table in 10 seconds.

The normal hover/frequent checkup behavior of American waiters and waitresses seems to be counter to this in almost all ways. It seems as though the rounds they make to check on everyone makes it much harder to get their attention when needed, in comparison to a waiter who stands back and watches.

In america, if a waiter doesn't come to your table within the first 15 min of you sitting down, then there is something wrong.

It shouldn't take more than a min or two for the waiter to come over, give you some water, and introduce themselves.

Introduce themselves? That's exactly the kind of cultural thing I think people are talking about.

I'm not here to be taken on a 'journey' by the server, I'm here to eat good food and enjoy the company that came with me.

A good server is one you barely notice.

It's normally something like "Hi, my name is Kybernetikos, I'll be your server today. If you have any questions just let me know. I'll bring out some water and take your drink order."

It's something you typically ignore until it's not there.

There's no journey, they give you their name and proceed to take your drink orders.

No need to be condescending here, he even prefixed it with "in America," and what he said is absolute fact. If you aren't waited on in the first 15 minutes, in America, you aren't in a good restaurant.

As a South Floridian, I'll point out that Miami is a culture unto itself, and what goes on there cannot be taken as an example of the typical way of doing things in America (or Florida, for that matter.)

In the UK, you just catch their eye. Good waiters will be scanning frequently for customers in need of service. You can also just make a subtle hand gesture like slightly raising the index finger with the palm of the hand facing down.

Same in Australia. This is actually where the US system backfires. Because the servers aren't actually "waiting" for these subtle ques from the customers I've at times had trouble getting their attention.

Shouting politely is always an option, but I feel restaurants should really adopt having a button at each table that customers can use if they have any requests to make to their waiter or waitress.

E la carte has you covered then: http://elacarte.com/

It's a Y-combinator funded company by the way. I really hope it catches on big really quickly, I think it's just wonderful.

Their favicon looks vaguely like a raised middle finger.

These are really common in Korea and totally awesome.

In Japan, some restaurants (not the fancy ones, but family-friendly places) have a button on the table just for that. Push it, and a few seconds later a waitress appears, just like in an airplane.

If you have younger kids, you have to be careful to sit them away from the button.

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