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Comment by edandersen | Hacker News Reader

I don't think they expected him to bring guests to a tech conference. What if he brought his kids as well? Grandma? Free $2000 tickets for all? Remember that the hired guns at these events are not paid to think, just follow orders. He should have got special clearance weeks in advance for free entrance for his family - that's the uncomfortable truth.

He will probably live to regret this as a speaking gig at TechEd as a non-MS employee is not to be sniffed at and now he has shunned the Borg - whom he must be pretty invested in skills wise to be invited in the first place. His wife could have gone and done some sightseeing while he works for a few hours.

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I've spoken at lots of conferences, brought friends to many of my talks, and would do exactly what he did in the same circumstance.

The scale of these conferences necessitates a strict badge rule. To get a badge, you need a registration. No badge = asked to leave. The security drones don't have the authority to issue badges on the spot and are programmed to kick out non-badge holders. Good for you that you would have cancelled 30 mins before the talk but it still would be a breach of contract most likely.

I took a +1 to an RSA talk without a problem. RSA is gigantic (it eats Moscone) and badge-controlled. I just said "I need this person here in order to do the talk".

The typical solution is to assign a person with the authority to let +1 guests in to the registration desk or at least make sure that such a person can be contacted when needed. This is fairly common in my experience regardless of the scale of the event so I'm not sure why you're trying to make it look like this was somehow unreasonable.

As a counter example, I have been to a number of conferences where the speakers/presenters/panelists and volunteers were expected to pay the full registration fee, so as you can imagine, friends/family and +1's wouldn't get special treatment.

While some events are pretty laid back, it looks like the registration for this event cost ~$2000, which is a pretty penny. My gut instinct would be to check with the event organizers first before trying to bring a +1, but I think the OP assumed that because he was able to negotiate with the travel coordinators for two one way tickets, one for his wife (instead of one round trip ticket), he probably assumed that this was implicit consent for his wife to tag along at the conference. Seems like a big mis-understanding that was confounded by poor treatment from security staff (and before we start ragging on the security staff, it is worth mentioning that event security tends to be a thankless, miserable job. Crappy wages and hours, and depending on the event, you spend most of your time dealing with people who treat you like shit.)

Who would speak at an event that charged speakers to do so?

These events may charge $2000 a head, but it doesn't cost them $2000, or even $5, to let a +1 watch your talk.

Everybody who has ever spoken at PyCon for one (and volunteers as well): http://jessenoller.com/blog/2011/05/25/pycon-everybody-pays

It looks like the OP is an established consultant/teacher, so he probably only goes to conferences that invite him to speak (and my guess is, from what I have heard about you tptacek, that you are in the same boat), so he may be unfamiliar with the practice. But for us peons, with little to no name recognition, conference papers and talks can be a big resume booster, so it's not out of the question to pay-to-speak (you still have to go through the proposal process though). In my old industry, this was standard practice, and because almost everyone had their conference registration and travel paid for by their employer, it wasn't a huge deal.

I think I've had to pay to talk at any association for computing machinery, association for computing in the humanities, american library association, society of american archivists, society of california archivists, and collation for networked information meeting I've given a talk at. Didn't used to have to pay to talk at digital library federation meetings; but that was when your organization had to pay a 5 figure membership to send folks. I've even had to pay to talk at the university of california computing services conference. I din't have to pay to talk at the library of congress or the national archives. Those are pretty much the only places I've given a speech (besides in high school when I was on the speech team).

At many acedemic conferences, it might be only speakers showing up. Anyways, increasing the number of papers you accept is a good way to boost attendance.

SIGGRAPH and USENIX are two high-profile conferences where almost everyone attending pays, whether speaking or not. Both do make exceptions for a handful of invited keynotes.

The same with IEEE: conferences are intended to make money for the IEEE and for the local organization hosting the conference.

> As a counter example, I have been to a number of conferences where the speakers/presenters/panelists and volunteers were expected to pay the full registration fee,

At TechEd, Microsoft picks you, guides your session abstract wording, reviews and changes your slides, specifies your clothing, tells you when to show up for booth duty at the Microsoft booth, and pays you for it. You're basically a community mouthpiece for Microsoft. This is very much a vendor event.

But would you have tried to show up more than 30 minutes ahead of your speaking slot if you were bringing a wife who didn't speak English who didn't have a conference preregistration?

Lest anyone think I'm being judgmental I personally might have shown up about 0 minutes before I had to talk and behaved exactly like he did.

Where does it say that his wife doesn't speak English? Just that she is not American.

Oh did it not say that? I may have gotten that impression from some other comments here.

> He will probably live to regret this....

I hope nothing in life makes you regret more than canceling after security escorts your significant other outside.

As to the admission money, we pay the $ because we gain something. Expecting a speaker not to bring someone is just plain foolish.

You didn't read the article, did you?

Him and his wife were traveling together. He didn't bring her with him to the conference; they changed their travel plans so that he would be able to speak at the conference.

He didn't ask for free tickets, just admission to his talk.

It's a common courtesy and necessary. You need to be able to take pictures on your own to safely be able to use those pictures in your own marketing or other material.

I've never spoken at a major conference, but the folks whom I've worked with who have at a corporate/organization always bring an assistant or friend to take pictures to memorialize the appearance. I've been the assistant role a couple of times early in my career -- 2/3 times I was given a "exhibitors hall" or "sponsored session pass" gratis.

Agreed. I've spoken at quite a few conferences, including a couple of talks at OSCON. While I've been to disorganized conferences, I've never been to one that would have treated me so poorly.

It's not like it costs them $2000 to give her a ticket. They don't have to spend any extra resources on her, she's not a foregone sale, and she's not displacing anyone who would have paid. It's a $0 ticket that they would have given to her.

> Free $2000 tickets for all?

You mean free $0 tickets. It doesn't cost them anything to have her in the speaker lounge. They paid for her plane ticket which actually cost them money, but they wouldn't let her wait for him?

Besides, she can get the content of the talk at home anyway, over beer.

> I don't think they expected him to bring guests to a tech conference.

I wouldn't consider TechEd to be a tech conference. It's more of a Microsoft sales event that requires an entry fee.

You could say that about any vendor conference. It still has value.

Even if that's true and this was an unexpected situation, they handled it in the most inhumane and callous way possible.

I think the core issue here is more about the treatment than the expectations. If they had handled the situation differently, it would not have been an issue. The problem was there was no consideration for his wife in the slightest. It definitely feels like a commoditised arrangement rather than a human interaction.

Yea, I must say it's a bit weird to assume you can bring your wife to an event like this, with such absolute certainty that you feel it would be entirely incomprehensible for her if you did not manage to get her in but instead had to give your talk...

They paid for his wife's one-way plane ticket to the event, so it probably shouldn't have been a total shock. Regardless, that's just not a nice way to treat people.

Sorry, but I still think a plane ticket and a conference pass are two different things...

Maybe this is a bit of a culture clash (I'm Swedish) but my initial reaction is: This has an almost sexist undertone to it (what kind of a man would treat a woman like that - she's absolutely helpless and couldn't even comprehend why I was suddenly gone) and it feels rather unprofessional.

The only people who where treated really badly here as I see it where the (hundreds?) of people who payed for their passes, stood in line to collect them and expected to hear a talk that never came.

Sure you can be annoyed somebody treated your wife poorly, but the appropriate response is an email to the organizers after the event or similar. That's my 5 cents at least.

While I can understand his concern about not being able to let her know, they are in America not some country in civil war. She should have been able to watch him but I am sure she could manage to find a Starbucks by herself.

> they are in America not some country in civil war

New Orleans currently has the highest murder rate in the US. It is the most dangerous place to be in the country, and it is more dangerous than many countries in civil war.

If his partner is trained in self defense and marksmanship, armed with a concealed carry, and willing, then it may be safe for her to wander about on her own. It is unlikely though they came with defensive arms since they just flew in from Bali.

That is some high-quality pearl clutching. I feel safer in the Ninth Ward than at a TechEd.

Conversely, when in New Orleans several years back for Halloween (2010), I was ~1 block away from a Marine who was stabbed while defending his wife from being accosted in the French Quarter:

http://www.nola.com/crime/index.ssf/2013/02/man_who_stabbed_...

You're a fool to go out alone after a certain hour in New Orleans, concealed carry or not.

I can't tell if you're being histrionic or just trolling, judging by your karma and HN community's usual intolerance for humor I'm guessing it's the former.

I'd say it goes deeper than that, touching on the meaning of marriage. The speaker was put in the position where he had to choose between his spouse and a talk. He chose his wife, in accordance with his marriage vows. I can't see that it is sexist, as the logic doesn't change if the gender of any party is changed.

> The speaker was put in the position where he had to choose between his spouse and a talk.

My simple objection is that he could have had booth.

I disagree. I've been much more frequently the "+1" to my wife as she speaks to audiences, and I've been universally welcomed and made comfortable while she does her thing. If security ever escorted me out of the venue just for being there, I'd be willing to bet that you'd be able to hear her chewing the coordinator a new butt from the next county over.

If you organise a conference, then arrange flights and accommodations for +1s be they independent adults, dependents of any kind, family dog, company director, servant or journalist, you better have options for that +1 that include allowing them access to the venue for the period that your invited speaker is expected to be there.

Something as simple as am "Invited Guest" pass, to indicate that this person is allowed to the coffee shop, merchandise store and toilets unaccompanied, is the least you can do. It doesn't matter who invited them, just give them the Amulet of Warding From Security Drones. Job done.

Then when arranging insurance for the event, make sure you account for expected people +30% to allow for "Invited Guests" brought along by the organisers, stage hands, support technicians, attendees and the CEO of the company running the show who decided on the spur of the moment to drag a retinue of golf friends around the event to show off.

It is not rocket surgery!

If it were the other way around, with me being left outside, I'd be beside myself.

As I understood the sequence of events, the staff first separated the speaker from his wife. Then they told him that they could not accommodate her in the speakers' lounge, and that she'd have to wait outside the facility.

So from her perspective, there were some complications to be ironed out, and we'll get it taken care of. And then, suddenly, the door is slamming behind her as she's standing on the street, with no idea of what's happening to her spouse the speaker. Should she stand here and wait for him to come get her? How will we meet up after the event, if he doesn't come out?

The speaker, properly empathizing with his spouse over the way she must feel, chooses his commitment to her.

It's not a question of whether the person kicked out is likely to be murdered. It's a question of being made to feel powerless, with no clear course of action. Those are feelings that any human is likely to have, regardless of their gender.

It's not weird at all, and not only that, but you should expect your +1 to be seated for your talk, not shown to a speaker's lounge.

I guess the question is what you should do if your expectations are not met...

Like I said, I too would walk.

Having been to tech ed, I can tell you that the more popular sessions reach capacity and they start turning people away. So expecting your unannounced +1 to be seated is not reasonable.

There's usually seating off to the side at things like this.

did you read my comment?

Well clearly bringing in 'the fam' as opposed to ' the wife' would be whole other story.

Buy I would think a company such as Microsoft could figure out basic common courtesy for guests that they invited.

At some point Microsoft has to trust their invited guests to behave like professionals. Believe me, if I ever decide to abuse Microsoft's hospitality as a guest speaker at one of their conferences, I will get a LOT more creative than merely inviting my kids and family members to sit in the audience.

I don't know exactly what I would do or say once I got behind the mic, but you'd probably read about it on here, if not on CNN.

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