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How to Win Friends and Influence People, although 80 years old and a bit corny in places has a lot of wisdom.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influenc...

Also, when in a debate or argument with someone, focus on your end goal. Which is more important - winning the argument (or saving face) or getting your objective achieved?

Yes, read this book. Very important if you want to learn about people.

No, please do not recommend Carnegie. It is a fine specimen of cargo cult.

Much better is to learn psychology, courses are available free on Coursera, Udacity and EDx.

I don't think it's a cargo cult at all. It gives actionable advice on how to get along with people and not be a douchebag.

You can spend your time doing a psychology course, but I'm not sure that would make you a more affable person.

The same way you learned to code: by doing it a lot. You might need to practice extra hard, and it might be extra frustrating, because you might have less talent in that area, but it is just a matter of going out and doing it, and then doing your best to learn from your mistakes.

Not saying that the reading materials and so on are bad, they are just useless without actual experimentation.

Deal with people.