As larger than average person I'm fascinated/frustrated by the way physical presence affects people.
Most troublesome for me have been people who apparently feel intimidated and project it back as something intentional, as I'm trying to intimidate them or have intimidated others into agreement with me.
I suspect it could have evolved out of having a physically intimidating older brother growing up (I grew out of a lot of insecurities when I became taller than he was, but maybe not all).
I am 6'7" tall and weigh 220 pounds. I've also been in IT for about 20 years in a corporate setting. Are you bigger than I am? I ask because I have never had anyone say that I intimidated them nor have I heard of anyone telling me that someone else is intimidated by me. I'm curious as to whether people are intimidated and just aren't telling me.
I'm your height, 60+ pounds heavier and no stranger to the gym. I've been in IT for going on 16 years.
I've had many people admit they were initially intimidated after we've gotten to know each other - women a bit more than men. I've had several problems arise from superficial assumptions/accusations by people who'd never fully interacted with me.
About your situation, there are a couple things I think can help/hurt:
* Build. I can remember being 220. I'm definitely perceived differently now, more "big" than "tall" or "slim" previously.
* I'm pretty quiet. I get the impression that people assume negatives before positives when they can't read a person.
* Jobs. I've done a lot of work in the public sector where things always seem to be contentious. In a place with less infighting and political maneuvering I'd hope for less assumption and undermining as well.
I'm a smaller than average guy (5 foot 4) and people that don't know me are often started when I'm vocal and assertive in meetings. I'm a working professional with opinions just like anyone else, and just because I'm short doesn't mean I don't want them heard.