Does the tone of the asker bother anyone else? The "I don't want you to teach me, I want you to do it for me" attitude feels to me the antithesis of the spirit of this corner of the tech community.
His first and only SO question, he's putting up a bounty, and it just feels like a finance/hedge fund guy saying "Damn, this is tough. Let's see if I can bribe the nerds to do it for me instead."
I know there are places for that - elance, oDesk, etc. Just feels like SO is the wrong forum for that kind of attitude, as interesting as the question might be.