Ultimately I find that Erlang's strength is not one thing or another, it's a combination of all of its traits: from the functional nature, to OTP for providing a consistent application structure, to its VM; all of these things put together make it interesting and useful.
I've yet to get into Haskell (I will eventually) but I really do find that constructing applications in a functional manner, with state being stored in independent processes within the running application, is a superior way to build systems.
One final note: I really like Go as well, for very specific reasons. Go's resource usage (both in terms of CPU consumption and RAM) is soooo nice, especially coming from Ruby. I was never a C programmer but I can wrap my head around Go and use it to build low resource usage apps with specific purposes, and sometimes this is exactly what is required.
While Go's goroutines give you similar sort of concurrency, they don't work in the distributed sense in the same way as Erlang. Go let's me fiddle around with the goroutines on my computer, but that's it. With Erlang, I can natively talk to the routines on any of the computers in my cluster. Just prepend a function call with an IP address and I can call a function on a completely different computer. While you could emulate this with XMLRPC or JSON, it's not backed into the language and it's not treated as a first class function the way it is in Erlang.
Also, Erlang's basic libraries were built with hot code loading in mind. You shouldn't have to stop and restart your software just to fix a bug. Now, I've seen discussion on how it's possible to do this with Go, but Erlang keeps the idea so pervasive that almost every beginner's guide include how to do it. As a side note, being a dynamic language has some advantages with hot code loading, though this can be a matter of taste.
This is just idle speculation but it seemed to me, reading the mailing list ages ago when this was discussed, that netchan worked in many use cases, but not others, and it just was not the right time in the development of the language to be distracted by a tertiary feature like that. Now, I could be mis-reading the whole thing and maybe it will never be a language feature. But if I were a betting man...
* Fault tolerance comes first. Built in from ground up.
* High concurrency.
Yap that is it. Ok, it has many other features but they amazingly fall from those one. Here are the secondary features and how they relate to the primary ones.
* Fault isolation. If a system is to be fault tolerant, faults must be isolated. If one process crashes it shouldn't bring down the whole system.
* Easily parallelizable. Because of isolated processes and the desire for high concurrency. It was easy to build in a sane scheduling algorithm that can spread the load across multiple CPU cores.
* Functional. Functional programming discourages handling large states. This a large Java class with 50 instance variable that could be modified by a 20 different methods. Functional programming encourages passing the state along explicitly.
* Built in distribution. It is hard to make a fault tolerant system (ok impossible in practice, to be more precise) without redundant hardware. Servers will fail but your service must not. You must have more than one server read to take over. Distributing your application across multiple physical machines is built it. You send a message to a local Erlang process like this:
Pid ! Msg.
Here is how you send a message to a process running in another data center. Maybe half way across the world.
Pid ! Msg.
That is pretty nice.
* The system is responsive. A non-response system can be considered a failed system in some domain. Think about a mail server. If the user click on a message and it take 5s to return a response and open it, maybe the person would consider the system as broken. This also comes out of concurrency and fault isolation. As the load increases instead of throwing errors everywhere the system gracefully absorbs the load while still staying responsive.
As people said before, Erlang combines several traits in a nice package, which is hard to beat.
There are other differences in the language as well. Bing a functional language with TCO it allows you to implement a lot of algorithms which will be cumbersome in imperative languages. Powerful pattern matching capabilities allow one to structure the program in a clean way, and pattern matching on binaries makes most binary protocol parsers one-liners.