I dunno about Yhc. Jhc, at least, is slower than GHC. It depends on the settings and the project in my experience.
If you're on a project like a Yesod app, then you have to conservatively rebuild a lot more than you would normally because TH doesn't lend itself well to incremental compilation and the compiling itself is slower too. Depending on the size of the project you're facing 5-15-30 seconds of waiting. That is actually monstrous and I hate it as much as you do, I cannot stand waiting for my app to rebuild, I turn to reddit, or YouTube. The more time waiting for feedback the less interactive and less enjoyable a programming experience is for me. So I think we're on the same page on that.
On the other hand, if you're just using normal Haskell code with reasonably modularized file structure, GHC will be able to rebuild incrementally and link just that module quickly. E.g. if it's a web app, you can have MyProject.View.Person and just change something in a blaze-html template and hit F12 in your editor (as I do) and it'll rebuild and restart in a second. I mean, to rebuild hpaste entirely from scratch takes 5 seconds:
$ time cabal build --ghc-options='-fforce-recomp -O0'
Compiling [snip]
Linking dist/build/hpaste/hpaste ...
real 0m5.116s
user 0m3.936s
sys 0m0.680s
Which is great. hpaste is only 4kloc, but your average codebase is between 3 and 15. In a normal development cycle you're changing just one or two modules at once, so with incremental compilation the refresh cycle is very fast. If you just want to type-check there is the -fno-code flag which brings it down to 1.2s to typecheck the whole project.
Another approach I've taken with an IRC server (hulk) is running it inside GHCi. That works surprisingly well. Especially if you have your run function return the state as a mutable reference, then you can take a look at it while it's running and update it. Here's hpaste running in GHCi:
λ> :set args "hpaste.conf"
λ> tid <- forkIO main
Listening on http://0.0.0.0:1234/
PASS ******
USER hpaste * * *
NICK hpaste
λ> :t tid
tid :: ThreadId
λ> killThread tid
Shutting down...
λ> tid <- forkIO main
Listening on http://0.0.0.0:1234/
PASS ******
USER hpaste * * *
NICK hpaste
It's currently running on
http://chrisdone.com:1234/ (I'll take it down later). Doesn't seem slow! Updating the code takes some milliseconds with :r and restarting is a case of killThread tid and fork again, some other milliseconds.
So yeah, I feel you on dev time. I'm more inclined to the approaches that lead to more immediate development cycles, can't stand waiting. I'm Emacser/ex Common Lisper. GHC could be faster, but there are definitely circumstances which exacerbate its performance, I reckon, and ways to combat it (as above).
I know that's not a very good answer, more of a workaround than a reason. I don't know why GHC is particularly slow if it's a lot slower than Yhc was. Other than all its separate build steps, I get the impression from what people say that it's just mounted up and become quite hairy. And memory usage has never been much of a concern for the compiler. That's a pity and I'm all for work being done on improving its performance.