All looks very sensible, but I'd be interested to see a split-test. You never know what will or won't convert...
So the question becomes do I trust the experts? I do. Therefore this landing page is my new baseline -- I'll split test from here.
FWIW, looking over the "after" page myself, I'd agree that it's a much more solid longish-form sales page. You'll probably be fine using that as your baseline!