>How do you stop another oklahoma city
I think this is really the key flaw in what you're arguing for. You're asking the wrong question. The assumption you're making is that there is a group of people wanting to commit an act of terrorism the consequences be damned, and we have to stop them. But you're closing the barn door after the horse has escaped. You're fighting terrorism in the wrong place.
Apply your logic to any other crime. Murder is a good example. How can we stop spouses from killing each other unless we bug everyone's home in real time? The answer is, we can't. Anyone can pick up a knife in a fit of rage and commit murder. Anyone can mix common substances to make a bomb and kill a dozen people. You can't stop them. Stopping them after they've already committed to doing the deed is too little too late.
What you have to do is to not allow anyone to get to that point. The normal law enforcement method of doing this is to deter with punishment: If you murder someone you will be convicted, so you fear the punishment and refrain from committing murder, and then we don't have to stop you because you stop yourself. Notwithstanding the occasional zealot, this works just fine for most types of terrorism: If the terrorist expects to be executed, most people don't want to be executed, so they're deterred from committing any acts of terrorism.
This is the part where people's heads explode. Some terrorists don't care if they die, so you can't deter them. The normal law enforcement method doesn't work, so people assume we have to come up with some new draconian method of actually physically preventing crazy people from blowing stuff up, as if that's ever going to work. But here's the thing: In order to martyr yourself like that, you have to either be batshit insane or extraordinarily dedicated to your cause, if not both. And the first one is a mental health issue having nothing to do with law enforcement. The way you fix that one is to get the mentally ill into treatment before they decide that God is talking to them through a dog and wants them to steal an oil tanker and crash it into a fertilizer plant.
The second one is the one that makes people angry because the solution looks too much like allowing terrorism to be effective. But the fact is that going into foreign countries and killing mothers and fathers causes children to become radicalized. Nobody sane is ever going to be willing to die in order to punish Americans for eating pork. People may be willing to die because you killed their family.
But doing the right thing is not "letting the terrorists win." Completely regardless of its effects on terrorism, we should not be killing innocent people in foreign countries (or anywhere else). Stop doing that and soon enough you discover a dearth of terrorists to have to stop.