in Europe, they have to (albeit with an adapter) due to EC regulations. Seems like a positive use of government regulation, and with the amount of government interest in electric cars, my outsider view is that a federal standard for charging ports would not get an excessive amount of lobbying resistance.

iPhones don't utilize public roads and aren't really a necessity in getting to work. Cars are for most of those without a public transport option.

If I can't buy gas from Shell with an Exxon fuel filler of a particular model car and there are mostly Shell stations in my area, I'm not buying that car.

Standardizing will only benefit electric car manufacturers. Surely, they can all get together and agree to one standard as they will benefit from any third party willing to create a charging station franchise. IMO non-standard in this case is a very poor business decision.