What I learned today: It's not worth it.

I am really sorry that you are having vision problems. Frankly I can't really understand it. But I have one main thing to say: don't believe doctors. They aren't the final answer on, really, anything. I come from a family of doctors and I have learned also through my life that doctors are usually just guessing, and going by what they have learned and what our current understanding of humans has taught us. If they say that "there is nothing wrong with you" what they mean is that there is nothing that you have that they can diagnose and treat. That doesn't mean that there isn't something wrong. Please don't do what I do, and what pretty much everyone does when there is no identifiable illness to blame: blame yourself. Actually, it sounds like the doctor helped you along with that by saying that it was your fault. That's perfect. My doctor did the same thing when she couldn't find a reason for why i was in agony every night and was taking like 30 Immodium a day to quell my stomach pains. If gastroenterologists don't find something to pin it on, then "there is nothing wrong with you". So they turn it on you. There is clearly something wrong with you, whether a doctor has a name for it or not. And it is not your fault. If the identification of a problem in your health makes you slow down and smell the roses, or the carnations, or whatever is in your vicinity that you haven't been smelling enough of, then great. But DO NOT blame yourself for your current problem. It is likely not a result of any action of yours. It is just something that happened. It might be a rare disorder that hasn't yet been identified or that only a small group of specialists knows about. Have you researched it online? Of course you have. You might look around for researchers into things like this. There is probably some small group somewhere which is looking into this very disorder, which is rare, and is usually attributed to overwork, or too much reading. peace and best wishes.

After similar symptoms and work ethic... I've been on sabatical for the last 5 months after almost passing out in a meeting, then half an hour thinking my heart was going to explode.

The doctor was actually pretty good and got it out of me that the job I was on more stressful than most, basically because of the "tech lead" walking ego fuckwit who would argue that the sky wasn't blue. 17 years in the contracting business eventually got to me - and it was a 'fuckwit' personality type I'd dealt with easily many times prior.

With hindsight, I actually got a little too emotionally involved with, for once, not accepting my time being wasted on another failed project due to idiots running the show...

It was government work, so that might explain it. Take care of yourself, I thought I was dead at 40.

Life is considerably more enjoyable now. Take better care of yourself, eat better, drink less alcohol(?) and avoid fuckwits at all costs :) You're a long time dead - take time to really smell the roses...