Now they have two problems | Hacker News Reader

Now they have two problems

joindiaspora.com

55 pointsdanohuiginn32 comments

Some people, when confronted with a problem, think "Yo, I'll solve it."

Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it.

I assume that's supposed to rhyme...

    Yo I'll
    solve it
    Check out the hook while my DJ
    revolves it

(This made me LOL. I'm looking forward to seeing additional lyrics.)

I'm cooking MC's like a pound of bacon?

I'll just leave this here:

http://rapgenius.com/448037/Vanilla-ice-ice-ice-baby/If-ther...

Some people, when confronted with a problem, think, "I'll use recursion". Now they have zero problems, and think, "I'll use recursion". Now they have minus one problems.

In order to understand recursion, one must first understand recursion.

Some people, when confronted with a problem, think, "I'm smarter than anyone else who writes code." Now the next person has two problems.

Some people have a problem and think "I'll just listen to Jay-Z instead", now they have 99 problem, but the bitch ain't one.

I thought the article would be about Diaspora’s problems. I should’ve known better, Diaspora has way more than two problems.

Some people develop blogs with needless layers of scripting that crash browsers when readers try to view their posts. Now they have two problems.

Yup, with noscript on, that page is just blank. What is the equivalent to TL;DR for page full of scripts, nothing shown so pointless waste of time ?

That's not a blog, but "Diaspora", the decentralized social network that got massively hyped some years ago http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/mbs348/diaspora-the-pers...

Crashing a user's browser isn't a problem, it's an opportunity to take control of their system.

Some people use Diaspora, now their two readers have a problem.

Not that G+ is any better, come to think of it.

A web developer creates a social networking site. Now he has a chicken problem. He also has an egg problem.

Add your own here http://twoproblems.com/

Warning: potential productivity damage :)

My favourite of the ones I've seen so far from there was

Some people, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, I'll use some mod_rewrite voodoo." Now they have a two problems and a dead chicken.

Some people, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, I'll use Javascript!"

Now they have NaN problems.

* Some people, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, I'll use IEEE 754!"

FTFY.

Original, in case the site doesn't load for you: http://nedbatchelder.com/blog/201204/two_problems.html

And in case that link doesn't load either, the jokes are not very funny anyway.

Didn't quite get the distinction between threads and multi threading...

Some people, when confronted with a problem, think, "I'll use a RDMS." Now they have two problems, but that's normalized.

Some people, when confronted with a problem say, "I know. I'll use Banach-Tarski!" Now they have two problems.

Some people, when confronted with a problem, think "I'll use XML". Now they have a problem and a /problem.

Some people, when finished reading a page, think, "I'll use Alt-Left." Now I'm still on the same page.

WTF, Diaspora?

I had a problem and thought "I know, I'll use Pacemaker", and now I have a clusterfuck.

I found some of them very funny, but I could not share on facebook because it could not render a preview (is that ironic?).

> is that ironic?

No, in fact it's kind of apposite.

Nice. The first time I've seem programmer jokes that I actually laugh-out-loud too.

I think this is funny:

A wife asks her husband, a computer programmer; "Could you please go to the store for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6!"

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why the hell did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had eggs."

My favorite:

An ASCII character walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What's the problem?" The ASCII character says, "I have a parity error." The bartender nods and says, "Yeah, I thought you looked a bit off."

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