Rationalizing the insanity of startup life

Never thought about it that way before, but that makes a lot of sense. As I alluded to before[1], you'd have to be insane to the a startup founder. And there's no question that my life is "messed up" by any normal standard.

So, how do I rationalize it? Well...

1. I cannot stand the idea of having "a boss" anymore. Yeah, yeah, I know that "you always have a boss" in a metaphorical sense, but I don't want one specific person who can walk in the room, yank my chain and command me to "do this" or "stop doing that" etc. It goes against my intrinsic nature and I've lived that way too long.

2. I think building a startup is the best chance I have to achieve the kind of financial independence and freedom I'm looking for. Yeah, yeah, I know the stats about how you can go into investment banking, maybe a few hundred K per year and have a better average outcome than being a founder. But I don't plan on an average outcome. Which leads straight to...

3. Like most founders, I'm irrational and think that I'm special somehow. Of course I'll be one of the ones who succeeds, why wouldn't I? But that's obviously irrational, which leads to...

4. I don't care if it's irrational, because I can live with failure, as long as I fail with honor, so to speak. Chasing my dreams, reaching for the sky, going for a moon-shot, and failing and dying penniless, broke, alone and destitute is absolutely acceptable to me. Living an average, boring, dull, bland life is not.

5. I just want a chance to do things on my own terms, live my own life, and call my own shots. It's my internal "Howard Roark" guiding me. I just plan to do what I plan to do, and I don't really care who does or doesn't like it. In fact, I like the idea of having doubters, detractors and adversaries, because they motivate me. So casting myself into a story with those elements is just part of my own internal mythology.

6. It's fun, in a perverse sort of way. Not getting enough sleep, forgoing social interactions, pushing myself to the breaking point, all in a mad, desperate quest to achieve something... what could possibly be better?

7. I'm a child of the 80's and the era of the "feel good movie" where the good guys win in the end, thanks to hard work, determination and perseverance, and sheer will. Again, internal mythology... This is my chance to live out a Joseph Campbellian "Hero With A Thousand Faces" story. Or, depending on how things turn out, an H.P. Lovecraft story. :-)

[1]: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=5688444