Please re-examine your close-mindedness; Drupal has an amazing community when it comes to welcoming new contributors.
When I left the company, I set up a cron job on my computer to randomly play an .mp3 of me saying DRRUUUUPPPAAAALLL during the early hours of the day when he was there. I guess he just about wet himself the first time he was sitting there alone and heard it, the way he tells it.