Ask HN: Is asking someone where they work bad etiquette? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: Is asking someone where they work bad etiquette?

2 pointshmsimha6 comments

I notice at tech meetups and user groups, people love to talk about what they work with, and it's not uncommon for someone to mention where they work, or for speakers to be asked to mention where they work when giving talks. However, I've noticed that the question comes up much less frequently in casual conversation. As someone looking for a job right now, I'm pretty interested in what companies are using what technologies. It's unclear to me, however, if the reason people don't ask each other who they work for is because they're merely not interested (most of the people at these meetings already have jobs) or because it's considered a mild faux pas, or try-hard, to ask. Dear HN community, please teach me your ways so that I might appear that much more savvy.

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Etiquette varies by region. I'm in San Francisco, and I do business development for a living, which means I talk to a lot of people. I'd say these rules are true for all of the US.

It's totally normal to ask where people work. In fact, it's outright good to do. As you meet more people, you'll find odd coincidences, like someone you just met works with a good friend of yours. Things like this will help build your network, and that's a good thing, especially as you look for a job. And don't forget to maintain your network once you've gotten the job!

As an example: "Hey, how's it going?"; "What brings you here"; "Oh cool, do you use this at work?"; "What company do you work with?"; and you're there in 4 sentences.

I don't feel 'where you work' or 'what you work with' is taboo.

In social chit-chat, it's .. awkward? to bring it up, sometimes. I'd guess that maybe 1/20 people know anything about what I do. Mention [Puppet, Solaris, Linux, BASH, Ruby, NetApp, FTP] and their eyes glaze.

In Washington, DC this is often the first question that comes up between people. Some people find it off-putting (often times it's people new to the area), but it's pretty customary and I don't think most people find it strange here.

Some places it is - I have friends from France who would consider "where do you work" and "what do you do" about as rude as directly asking how much money you make, and not to be done except among close friends.

And some places it isn't: I've struck up conversations with complete strangers in India where "What salary?" comes up right at the beginning.

"What do you do" or "where do you work" is one of the most common questions when you're getting to know someone.

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