There are usually good options available and usually you're up and running quite fast. I can recommend NetCologne (local, dsl/fiber), UnityMedia (cable) and 1&1 (Vodafone reseller) as providers of very nice, very dumb pipes.
The author obviously is frustrated and annoyed. That's okay, it happens. A rant might even help. But I wonder why that ends up on this site here: The internet in Germany isn't going away and is, frankly, quite usable and widely available.