I disagree. She needs to attend to her physical safety, first and foremost, and her mental health, a close second. The overreaction to her tiny tweet was about a million to one and her very public flogging was so out of proportion and so misogynistic and racist that if I were her, I'd be scarred for life. It reminded me of those 3rd world stories that pop up every once in a while where some poor woman gets raped by an entire village as punishment for adultery. Let's not pile up on an already unfortunate situation by suggesting that the perpetrator of a tiny crime (if a rather temperate tweet that called a joke "not cool" can even be called a crime) has to apologize in the wake of other people's much, much larger crimes (from the firing of one of the jokers to rape threats to death threats).
On a larger note, it's never a minority group's responsibility to keep the majority prejudice-free. We really need to dispose of the silly notion that it's our responsibility as women in tech to be 100% perfect lest some men decide to withdraw their respect. We do not deserve to be held to a higher standard than men who engage in irrational, drama llama or otherwise childish behavior all the time (case in point, the dongle joke that started the whole thing).
Our reputation does not need to be "returned" because it was never "lost". Adria Richards, take care of yourself.
P.S. You said, I don't like how she's trying to speak for me and want her to apologize. Do you not see that she was not trying to speak for you any more than you tried to speak for me just now? That being born a woman does not make you the speaker for, or responsible for the reputation of, your entire gender? Otherwise you have exact same thing to apologize for.