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Comment by deepakjois | Hacker News Reader

I find it shocking that some Indian men have such attitudes, despite having spent time in places like the US.

<quote> Given the difficulty in finding matches for Indians abroad, some matchmakers are now charging them more. Mr. Dave of Klassic Match charges a minimum fee of $100, versus $50 for candidates living in India. He charges more for specific requirements. For instance, he says some overseas Indians want a bride who is smart, fluent in English, and "simultaneously, docile in the house." He says such women are now harder to find, so he bumps up his fees for some searches. </quote>

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Another explanation could be that the Indians in the US are mostly engineers, who skew towards being introverted. I'm guessing wildly here, but my point is that it could be more than cultural factors at play.

<cynicism> Maybe it's because they've spent time in the US, and absorbed the American idea that You Can Have It All, that some Indian men think it's perfectly reasonable to ask for a wife who is "smart, fluent in English" (i.e., has intelligence and skills enough that she isn't economically dependent on her husband) and "simultaneously, docile in the house" (i.e., willing to put up with her husband's bad behavior). </cynicism>

Maybe it is because they have spent time in the US that they want such women?

I dont know about that. Why is that?

I would be willing to give the benefit of the doubt to somebody who has lived in a conservative, patriarchal, rural/small-town middle class environment in India.

If you are an Indian male in the US as described in the article, chances are you come from an urban background, went to college, and have had ample opportunity to be exposed to more liberal attitudes. In that case, this sort of expectation is downright shameful and disgusting.

I think the comment is at least halfway tongue-in-cheek. The meaning is that there are certain disadvantages to marrying a strong-willed American woman...

Ya, I guessed that much! Just took the opportunity to clarify my stand a bit more.

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