I think it's well worth the inconvenience of moving in order to have a large group of energetic and sympathetic peers. That's the deal with college, after all.
in my case, i'm working on a new idea alone at the moment while i find the right cofounder. i've found that a good compromise that still allows you forward progress is to hang out with people who are in the same boat, even if you're not working on the same stuff. i worked over the summer with a couple yc guys who were also starting their own thing and it was great to have other people to bounce ideas off of and frankly to have other people who were stuck inside on friday nights or up at 3am (welcome to the startup world, kids -- often not as glamorous as you'd hope :)) when everyone else is out drinking. it didn't matter that we weren't working on the same stuff -- there was still that esprit de corps and a shoulder to tap when you're working on something cool.
i think it's just the being-in-a-room-by-yourself that sucks, especially if you have roommates on a completely different schedule. and i think it's worth waiting for the right cofounder, even if that means you have to hack the prototype or even launch a beta by yourself -- more startups implode for people reasons than anything else.
there's hope; a good friend of mine has been running his own show for a while after his cofounder left and he's doing fine (but works in an office with other entrepreneurial types), and founders at work has numerous examples of people who had to hoof it on their own for a period of time and did ok (evan williams, a bunch of others).
so if you're in this situation, just get some moral support and keep making forward progress until you find the right cofounder. good luck!
-drew
Personally, I have been trying to get picked up by a startup so I have an excuse and a means to move to a better area. How would others here recommend meeting people?
extantproject at gmail dot com if you want to throw some ideas around
Speaking of which: extantproject at gmail dot com if anyone out there would like to throw some ideas around.
"so freaking lonely" does sum it up pretty well though.
Its kind of like the first 6 months you are taking care of a baby, they really don't do much but need to be attended to constantly, and usually you can take solace in the sheer love of what you are making, but sometimes at 4 am when the little thing is crying and all you want to do is get some sleep and then you have to get up and go into work the next day anyway, having someone to share the experience with is great.
I like the idea of meetups, but I'm in the Hartford area, not sure there are a ton of startups around. What would be kind of cool though would be some kind of "Who's working on their startup now" list, maybe even here on YC's site, where people could sign-in when you start working and we could have some kind of quiet community, even if its just the ethereal prescence of our names.
I don't have problems with loneliness, and never really did even before I had an active community; I just have problems making competent decisions, especially since I'm a sysadmin turned developer, so I'm a bit out of water doing a software startup.
All you web guys need to quit yer complaining; at least you've got thousands of other entrepreneurs who are in the same boat. There is almost no one else in the sysadmin space, and pretty much everyone's eyes just glaze over when I mention that I'm working on infrastructure, not AJAXy web 2.0 bling.
However, there would be a lacking of intimate contact. You can bond with other founders but that only goes so far. Society as a whole is becoming increasingly isolated. Many people have hundreds of friends on their "friendspace/mybook", but deep down have no one to really confide in.
When you're trying to do it alone there's the feeling that even if you did make it no one would know how hard it was.
Besides, who's going to write the tell-all memoir about the "real" you?
the thing is that most of the time you don't care. But there are times that suddenly you become aware of it, and if its one of the times that it annoys you then it strikes you, and thats when you need maybe somebody to either support you (the case of someone who is active part in the early process of starting up) or fulfil it before it becomes a need. And as always you must get over it
I doubt I'll be starting anything in future without a partner or two.
I think that getting back frequent feedback can help in that regard, although it might also increase the chances that someone will copy your service.
it is heavy, and you feel lonely, and yet you also feel like you got nothing to lose other than a house, a life, family and everything else... which is why we all need to be more wealthy, and more sane via yoga and good workouts...
could this 'loneliness' be an indicator of 'personality' as well as being a single founder? For instance are you (anyone) energised in the presence of crowds? (for me, no). Variations in founder personality types come into play here.
could also be an indicator of how many 'related/non-related' social groups you inhabit. Do you meet others in other social contexts? I mix in 3-4 non startup groups, thats more than enough.
There are definite advantages of working in groups of like minded. The sharing of knowledge, contacts, protection ~ I'm primarily thinking of how other ape-like creatures work/live, passing on knowledge & skills. Doesn't the web allow this kind of behaviour virtually?
If you aren't enroll part-time. Join every biz/ad/entrepreneur club. Finding a great partner is hard - but far from impossible. Step 1 is to start meeting SOMEWHAT partner-ish people and college is a good start from my experience.
love that quote. Someones whacked up a 'search for co-founder site' ... can't remember where.
I'll be at the next web2.0 meetup in NYC -- http://newtech.meetup.com/21/