> How does Heroku not feel the same?

Because they, as a hosting provider, have several orders of magnitude more clients to please than yourself. The only way to be fair to everyone is that everyone gets treated like shit (obviously embellished).

All you should be doing to CYA is telling your clients exactly why this is happening and that its Heroku, and not you, that holds the blame at this point.

The caveat would be those difficult customers (suits, exec managers, etc) that you have to handle with kid gloves. For these people... I don't think there's a graceful way to present the upcoming issue.