Ruby is slow. Fast, good, easy - pick 2.
What I've seen of C# 3.0 and F# also implies that those languages could meet this criteria, but my experience with them is limited.
Are you saying that fortran isn't faster than scala/jvm based languages? That APL isn't better for matrice's? That lisp macros aren't more powerful? Or that php isn't simpler than scala?
Being good at all three may be possible, but being optimal at all three is probably impossible.
Why?
Note "conflicting objectives". Why do you believe the objectives are conflicting?