I was prepared to flag every April Fool's day story but this is side-splitting, hilarious copy that stands on its own any day of the year.
Great job!
Did you get all the way to the final feature on the lower right?
I missed it the first time, but oh man did I ever LOL when I saw how casual/oblivious it was written (in a "don't worry, you clicked the button so you're obviously okay with it" kind of way).
You know you use strikingly too much when you recognize all the templates immediately.
Have you considered using your own buttons at the bottom of your page?