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I wonder if we'll get a deluge of jokes about which side a buttered iPhone would fall on.

Well, it wouldn't be much of a joke since this patent makes it predictable.

But the claim is the butter also makes it predictable, since "toast always lands buttered side down".

After toasting the iPhone, its electronics should no longer be in working order, so only the butter should be exerting its orientation preference.

You could always glue/tape two iPhones together...