Comment by iamtherockstar | Hacker News Reader

Comment by iamtherockstar | Hacker News Reader

I agree with this, fully and unequivocally. I have to wonder if "there are ladies present" might also be construed as sexist. Maybe we just shouldn't use toilet humor in situations where we're not absolutely sure everyone will find it appropriate.

Warning: offensive, but to demonstrate a point...

I once interviewed a guy who decided to wear a t-shirt to the interview that read "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night". There were no women there. I was not really even offended (toilet humor is really hard not to giggle at, if for no other reason than I'm still 15 in my head somewhere). I was, however, careful not to let on that I noticed it at all. On the way out, he asked for a tour (he thought he was getting the job). When another coworker commented on his shirt he said "Yeah, I got another one that says 'Swallow it or it goes in your eye'." It was a 5 person company at the time, and none of them were female. Still, he wasn't getting the job; anyone with that much disregard (dare I say arrogance) for other's feelings isn't getting the job.

It's not about having men or ladies or kids present; it's about having a mutual respect for others, and being conservative about what setting they think toilet humor (or any humor) is appropriate.

There's gotta be something fucked up about the culture for men in a dominantly male environment to joke with each other with brags about aggressive sexual dominance over women and expect to retain their jobs, or in this case get hired by strangers.

It's so easy, too. To be transgressive by attacking women within an environment where there aren't many powerful ones around. Why not racial humor? I'm sure there are many ways to brag about humiliating different racial groups.

I'm far from a prude, but there are women out there trying to make a living in this world. I don't think it's a lot to ask that people keep this kind of shit at home, even if they think it's funny.

He wore that to an interview? Jesus. I'm all about the informal meet-and-greet, but that clearly shows that he had zero respect for you or your company.

That's just unbelievable.

Heh. I've been defending my right for penis jokes those last three days, but in that case I'll totally agree (and my sword is yours).

The right for our "penis jokes" also entitles us to a moral responsibility: be "a bit" sure we can make these jokes to our audience (though I admit I don't check/care for people around whose ears have long reach, but this is another debate), which is why you ought to be a little self-conscious of what you are wearing.

On the other hand, this makes me cringe a bit... I bought this hoodie that says "Cool story bro" (obvious reference to the meme), what if I stumble upon persons who will understand this as me "perpetuating the testosterone bro-culture that is driving women away from tech"?

If we start drawing the line somewhere, how do we know someone else didn't draw it earlier or later to ours?

Serious question, and I don't mean this disrespectfully to you, but why did you not turn him away immediately and proceed to waste everyone's time?

I personally have been taught that even if someone instantly bombs the interview, you have to make them feel like they were given a decent shot so that they won't get upset and try to sue you.

Sadly you can't even give feedback on what people did wrong because anything that you say can and sometimes will be held against you in a court of law.

At the time, I was young developer being asked to interview a somebody. If I'm honest, I was a little prideful that I was interviewing him, and not one of the other, more mature developers, so I took him through the process.

I think, knowing what I know now, and feeling confident in who I am as a developer, I'd probably at least ask about it in the interview. I'd say "Why did you choose to wear that shirt today?" Serious question. I'd be interested. Maybe the answer is "Because I don't really want this job" and then it's clear. Maybe it's "Because I don't want to work at a place that gets offended easily" or maybe it's "Because I didn't have any other clean laundry." I cannot think of a valid reason to wear that shirt to an interview, but I'd at least be interested in his reasoning (though he's still not getting the job).

Thanks! I've contributed to an interview or two, but I haven't yet been tasked with the responsibility to cut one short if a serious red flag like that came up.

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