I was going to let your comment slide until I saw your followup 'downvote' comment below.
> The fact is, the way language is interpreted by the listener is far more important than how it was meant by the speaker.
This is absurd to the point that I call Poe's Law.
Nearly ALL language can be "offensive" in some way shape or form. Someone saying they are "offended" literally means nothing. Intent matters. A lot.
Now, couple intent with offense and you have something.
To make up something completely on the spot, imagine it is an equation: offended = O, not offended = NO, intended offense = IO, no intended offense = NIO.
NO + NIO = most civil dialogue.
O + NIO = mistake. Someone should speak up and say something.
O + IO = someone being a jerk, actively trying to hurt someone.
NO + IO = someone trying to be a jerk, the other person realizing it and not letting them do it (among other options here).
What happened here was O + NIO. No mature, rational person's first reaction in that situation is to go nuclear. A mature, rational person will A. ignore it and move on B. explain their offense C. note it, mull it over, look for future conversation to explain their side D. ignore it but use it as a teaching tool (in the abstract) if they have a platform (among other options, but those encompass most. How one chooses to react depends on many variables). Now, if someone takes the time to be mature and rational and actually explain their offense AND THEN the other side continues, well, then the equation has changed. What should have happened (best case) would be a civil dialogue explaining the offense. What should have happened (bare minimum) was anonymous reporting to pycon. What should not have happened was what happened.
So, to sum it up, someone's interpretation is only one side of the equation. To say it is "far more important" is, frankly, absurd.