I find that "here's a paper I've written and would like to present" works pretty well, too. Or sometimes, depending on the conference, "here's the abstract for a paper I'm currently writing and would like to present".
OTOH, this sounds like one of those "I'm going to wave my hands and tell cute stories to get good PR for my brand" conferences, not the I did some really cool and deep technical shit and here it is conferences.