The thing is, I now definitely feel like I'm "en route" towards doing something amazing and every step in the journey feels right and resonates with my whole being; something I never felt before even though I was doing a lot of self-growth and I got a huge adrenaline kick of learning new things. The goal, which in my case is raising a wonderful person, is not totally within my control, so the only thing that I can do is focus on the process, on the everyday things, the often mundane. I'm not working toward a big goal, and I don't feel like "It'll be great when I get there" anymore. In other words, I've become process-oriented instead of goal-oriented, and that's something I should have done a long, long time ago.
This is the first time that the cliche "it's the journey, not the destination" that makes sense to me. I feel at peace now, and I'm enjoying every minute of it. Before this, when I was self-growth and build-stuff oriented, I never got to enjoy the journey. I felt like I was always working towards some far and amorphous goal, letting the rest of my life to pass by. If someone told me I was going to die today, I would feel like I have lived to the fullest. Before this epiphany? it would had been a tragedy.