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Comment by hmbg | Hacker News Reader

This doesn't work at all for me. I love having expectations. I love looking forward to things.

I'm going on a trip in May, and I expect it to be great. If it sucks, I might be a bit disappointed, but the vacation is a week, and the time I can look forward to it is several months. If the vacation turns out to be great, I'll feel great about it. Would I feel even greater if I had no expectations? Don't know. I really don't think the delta of getting pleasantly surprised outweighs the months of looking forward to the trip.

Being able to accept what you can't change (e.g. being stuck in traffic) without getting overly frustrated is conducive to happiness, no doubt. I'm not sure what it has to do with expectations; if I expect to be stuck in traffic all morning, that doesn't make it more fun when it actually happens.

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I got back from a 10-days backpacking trip to Thailand and Laos a few weeks back and I totally enjoyed it partly because I went with zero expectation. I did not know what to expect (no research) and I did not expect anything. I did not book any hostels and just went with the flow.

I have no must-see travel list nor do I have any must-do travel stuff. Anything interesting was a net positive feeling for me during the trip. Anyone interesting I met was a net positive feeling for me. If I had expected to see a certain place or do a certain thing and could not accomplish that during the trip because of bad weather or schedule, I will be disappointed. I did not feel disappointed at all for 10 days.

Well, different people might like to plan their life differently and you can feel right in having expectations if that's what you prefer. I just found it awesome to see a place without knowing what to expect.

I guess it comes down to how specific expectations you have. I don't plan everything minutely, I just expect it will be a great experience in general, whatever happens. That way I look forward to it, and enjoy thinking about it. But I don't have detailed plans.

Still, if I did, the important thing would be to handle changes of plans well. The absence of plans in it self does not determine happiness for me.

This illustrates the way I see the "thing" with expectations: "They come from previos experience(including research as previos experience)". The Zen's mind, begginers' mind books suggets to keep your mind open to all outcomes, despite your experience (easier say than done, however).

It's hard(at least for me) to control expectations (I have evidence[bayes] that supports those expectations). In the other side, the outcome, is what actualy happened so you should add it to your evidence and update your prior beliefs for the next time.

TL;DR avoid expectation (not the real point); accept the outcome and update your experience (could be a better aproach)

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