Comment by petercooper | Hacker News Reader

Comment by petercooper | Hacker News Reader

Going off on a tangent here, but do people who are good at sports often suffer long term bullying at school?

I wasn't bullied at school, IMHO (nothing physical, the odd bit of name calling.. which they got back ;-)) but it seemed as if people who were into sports avoided every hassle, including the sportier geeks who were in the football team, etc.

Looking back, I have to wonder if there's something about being active, being in teams, or the effect doing sports has on your body (language) that means you either fit in better, stand up for yourself more, etc. I certainly feel that way as an adult now trying to become more active. It changes how you hold yourself.

My daughter is now in all the social and sports clubs we can get in and which she enjoys. My parents never encouraged me into being active or joining clubs, but I have to wonder if I had been, maybe I'd be very different (not that I'm unhappy with my lot now :-)) and maybe my daughter could end up being one of the "popular kids" just by virtue of being active and socializing with her peers early.

I think it might also have something to do with being a recognised part of a group who would certainly be capable of punishing the bully.

Interestingly, there's a young diver here in the UK called Tom Daley (got a medal at last year's Olympics). When the media frenzy about him kicked off a few years ago, he got bullied at school. However, diving is a pretty solitary activity and he certainly wouldn't have had a team with him to prevent this.

I think it may very well be the other way around. Example: I used to do sports. Then the bullies came. Then I stopped doing sports because that's where they were.

2nd this. But sports do help with confidence and self-esteem too.

Two thoughts:

I can recall the lightest wrestler on my high school wrestling team getting bullied by his teammates several times. I didn't do anything to help him.

I was one of those sporty geeks in high school, but I was completely unsporty in elementary school, and I was never significantly bullied. I suspect my "defense" was mostly being the biggest kid in the class.

I think the conundrum here is those good at sports.

When I played hockey, I certainly wasn't popular with my team, especially when the bullies were on it, but I never got picked on much since I was a good player, and I could give much more than I ever got. I was always pretty quiet, so the bullies never knew what to expect of me.

However, being a house league team, there were several players who got bullied, and they were always the fat kids, who couldn't skate as fast, or stand up for themselves.

And I think it's the same relationship everywhere, and on the comments already made. Bullies never pick on kids bigger than them, or that are necessarily unpopular. However, they will sniff out weakness and pick on the weak, no matter where they happen to be.

I was however, always curious at the root of bullying, since even in my adult life, I see many people who still cluster around making themselves feel better by laughing at stupidity of others (just not to their face), and scare myself, since I've caught myself doing the same thing. Sure we're certainly more civil about it, but to me it seems to be rooted in the same base nature, as a mechanism they're using to try and feel empowered.

Some of the worst bullying I received was in locker rooms. Don't kid yourself. It can happen anywhere.

I remember being bullied every day my freshman year. The bully was on my cross country track team. I wonder what would have happened if I never joined track.

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