Stripe's Sunday test and my Sunday test are slightly different: "Would you come into the office to hack on a Sunday even if the servers weren't on fire?"
If the answer is yes, you know you've got a burnout risk.
Stripe's Sunday test and my Sunday test are slightly different: "Would you come into the office to hack on a Sunday even if the servers weren't on fire?"
If the answer is yes, you know you've got a burnout risk.
I think calling likability and cultural-fit "silly" puts you in a minority opinion amongst hiring managers.
And I'm curious how many interviews you must have been on to have gotten "dozens" of "cultural fit" denials? Are you just out of school?
Look, I know I'm just talking in anecdotes. And I'm parsing a lot because I don't want to offend you. But if you have "dozens" or even just a lot of people telling you they can't hire you because you're not a good fit, that should be a red flag to you. Sure, some of the problem is probably some of the companies. But you could probably see results by taking ownership of part of the problem for yourself. What I mean is, it's easy for an engineer to just try to wash his hands of things like "networking" and "cultural fits" but a better way is to just treat it like any other engineering problem and optimize for it.
My problems are two fold. First, I'm located in Ohio. If I were in NYC or San Francisco, it would be a different story. Secondly, I am very confident in my abilities, and I have a lot of integrity. "B player boses" are scared of people like me.
My biggest problem is that I'm not really capable of working at a company as an employee. I need to be either a CTO level person, or as part of a team where there is no "boss". A lot of companies claim that they are a true "collaborative environment", but rarely do companies ever actually operate this way. My first engineering job was on a team where there was no boss. Everyone was equal in terms of influence over the direction of the technology. I was a perfect fit there. I contributed more than anyone else at that job.
I think it boils down to the face that I care more about software than I do about the company. I care more about the quality of the software than I do about my boss's feelings. I care more about the software than I do about my own well being. I guess I could start caring less. I could just spend all day small talking with co-workers and generally not giving a shit like everyone else...
You should relocate. I can tell you this without a shred of reservation. I first went to a payment processing startup in Boca. Lots of money in South Florida, wonderful weather, quite a few more startups than you'd guess. Then to the bay area for a wider range of work.
If you're good, you will get flown out for interviews and given an offer with relocation. You should seriously consider this.
As for your other concerns, when I was younger, I was less of a collaborator and more of a "screw this, i'll do it myself, you'll see, it'll be great." And I'm talented, and often it was great, so i got by. But I eventually realized that for me, being more humble, reaching out more, it just makes life easier. And if you want to be humbled, go to where the best and brightest in your industry are.
On the off chance you don't realize it, this probably affects your employability more than the rest of the factors you mentioned.
All that to say, as a developer who has been burned one too many times by the "oh yes we have lives outside of work" story (not so much), the question itself put me off a little, and I'm wondering if there is a way to measure this likability factor without a scenario that may immediately ping the sixth sense of a developer with certain past experiences. Just wanted to throw that out there.
If this person left Stripe to setup on their own, would you ask to join them? And would they have you?
Kinda like there are a lot of girls I'd go dancing with but that doesn't mean I've proposed to all of them.
You are not at work to "enjoy working with" a person (at least as far as Stripes' hiring policy goes) - you are at work to be inspired, create a gelled team, push each other further.
To use your analogy, there may be many women(!) you would enjoy dancing with, but you should focus on the ones you could reach the finals of Strictly Come Dancing with.
As Greg points out in a sibling comment, it's not that we expect people to work on Sunday. We don't.
The point is setting a higher threshold for likability than "would you be ok working with this person". Instead, it's would you go out of your way to be around them?
It's easy to let small things slide. "Oh, it's a big office; I guess I won't need to hang out with them that much." It's harder to fool yourself with this test.
"Did she continue talking to you once you'd fixed her computer?"
Just rephrase this to "would you be around this person if you weren't paid to?"