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Comment by brennenHN | Hacker News Reader

The problem is that it's to be removed completely from Facebook. I think about deleting my profile all the time, but there's potential for awkwardness and offense that aren't worth it. Facebook has engrained itself in our lives pretty deeply and it's going to be a huge challenge to dig it back out.

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I had a facebook account once. I thought that by deleting my account it would somehow limit my social life and, of course, make it a lot harder to keep my friends and family updated.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

Not having a facebook account (or any social media website account) forced me to be more active. It forced me to contact my friends face to face. This has HUGE advantages.

This notion that facebook is integrated into our lives tightly is absolutely an illusion; one that Facebook relys on (or any site like it). Take the initiative and go out of your way to contact your friends/family "the old fasioned way".

Rallying groups for a cause isn't as hard as it seems to be, either. You just have to work a bit more. So what? Our society(ies) is/are becoming so lazy it's almost unbearable.

Facebook does not dictate your life in any way, shape or form. There are many people who don't use it and are just fine without it.

It forced me to contact my friends face to face. This has HUGE advantages.

I'd much prefer to see my friends face-to-face, but I can't afford to fly very often.

Then use other means of contact. The point isn't to replace facebook with the same amount of convenience. The point is to disable the illusion that Facebook is necessary to keep in contact with your distant friends/family.

Use a phone. Use the postal system. Yes, it's not as "instant" but it at least shows that you put in work to contact them. Or you can use open technologies like Jitsi or Ekiga to do video chat with them (if they are willing. If they aren't, then perhaps explain to them why it's important). There are options out there. Facebook isn't the ONLY technology that closes the gap.

Many of my friends don't live in the same country.

So phone or video chat is impossible and using the postal system is just being stupid.

Why is video chat impossible? International calls are the perfect use case for it. (I guess you could drop the video, and just do a VOIP phone call also.)

@dbaupp .. Full time jobs + Time zones.

I live in Cambodia, work 18 hour days and between email, skype and the telephone I keep up with friends in family in North America on both coasts, in Europe, New Zealand, Japan, Hong Kong, India and even people in my own time zone (Thailand, Laos, Singapore). I don't use facebook for any of this. It isn't difficult, and at least out here, most international calls are very cheap. And even if they were you can call through google voice or skype to mobiles and land lines at very low rates.

I'm sorry, but this is just "anti" for the sake of it. If you have a good enough relationship with friends and family, Facebook is just another medium to stay in touch. I'd agree that if it's the only medium, there may be issues, but your suggestions are merely alternatives, no better and in some instances slightly worse (no, the postal service is not a valid alternative). Yes, there are other options, but Facebook works well enough for a majority of folk. I'll come clean and say that I'm not a fan of Facebook, I find it too intrusive. That said most of my immediate friends and family use it and get an awful lot out of it. The psychological benefits of just feeling connected cannot be understated.

It is not "anti" at all. Like I wrote already, the point isn't to replace the convenience of facebook. It is to seek alternatives that will "do the job". Yes, the postal service is absolutely an alternative, whether you agree or not. It is a means of old communication. Yes, it's a bit "inconvenient" but it works.

Complacency is not a good argument: "the majority of people I know use it so it shouldn't be criticized for the sake of convenience". That's what I hear, maybe I'm deaf.

Jitsi or Ekiga or any other type of open technology can effectively replace facebook quite well. They also give you "the psychological benefits of just feeling connected". I would submit that the Internet fills that niche, not Facebook or others like it.

People can use it all they want. Fine, no problem. But to lean on the idea that it is somehow impossible to delete an account without becoming a hermit is, in my view, a complete asinine idea.

Why 'open'? Is that the issue that you have with Facebook? If not, why not Skype? It's available on more platforms that the two specific examples that you mention. The thing that you are dismissing is the convenience. Like it or not, literally millions of people find it extremely convenient to stay in touch with friends and acquaintances easily.

I am dismissing the "convenience" factor simply to prove a point. I am under no illusion that there needs to be better alternatives out there that fill in the gaps. However, it is also important to note that while there is certainly a convenience factor that some people (or perhaps even most people) will gravitate to, there are also other factors to consider. Freedom, being one. Now, I'm not one to badger people about what Freedoms you can/will lose while using a centralized service such as Facebook or Google, but I do think it's important to recognize the serious problems those services pose.

I also think it's important to not get off track from my original point which is: It is not the end of your social life if you decide to delete your facebook account (or google or twitter etc.). That is my point.

I emphasize "open" because those technologies are open for review by thousands of eyes. If there are privacy issues it will be known and tended to. Using something like Skype does not ensure your privacy; especially since now it is more centralized and not p2p. There has been many articles released about the privacy concerns of using Skype (wiretapping, China, etc.). I, for one, do not ever want to put my privacy in the back seat for the sake of convenience and I think it's imperative to educate or at least mention the problems with closed technologies that are supposed to be "private".

Jitsi, as far as I can tell, runs on Windows, Mac and Linux. Those platforms are pretty much covered. I'm not sure if it runs on Android or iOS. Though, I'm sure there are people working on mobile solutions (I am, at least). I wouldn't dismiss it so easily. Skype runs like utter crap on Linux systems and while Jitsi may not run all that well compared to Skype, it is at least open sourced and free software so people can work on it.

Email is essentially a social network. A social network is simply, at its core, a system which allows friends/family/other to communicate and keep up to date with each other. In fact, I would go so far as to say the original social network is not Facebook or MySpace but the Internet itself.

Again, I'm not trying to suggest there are alternatives that can completely replace Facebook (or others) convenience factor. Not at all. I am simply saying, you don't need it.

> Not having a facebook account (or any social media website account) forced me to be more active. It forced me to contact my friends face to face. This has HUGE advantages.

I'm assuming you don't have kids and don't need an easy way to share photos with family. You know, the parents that ask you to email all of your photos?

I know that piles of baby photos are annoying, but they are less annoying then when they are forced on you via email. In FB at least you can squelch people if they annoy you. Or if you really like your friends, you can create a separate account for baby pics and only post to that account.

Even though Facebook is really big for photos, there are dedicated apps/platforms for sharing photos or albums with people that do a better job, especially where privacy is an issue (like baby photos). I don't see any advantage to using Facebook over a dedicated app or just email.

The only advantage is network effect. It's hard enough getting the grandparents to use any service, so having a few people already on facebook makes it that much easier to just get everyone on the same service.

Again with this notion that facebook solves the "sharing photo's" problem. It is not the only means of communication or file sharing. There are applications out there that are much better and less susceptible to unwanted eyes/abuse.

While I may not have children, I have close friends who do and family that does. So what? I communicate with them just fine and share bday photos like everyone else without a problem and without being tied to facebook.

If you have a problem with annoying photo's without facebook, then may I suggest telling those involved with sending you too much info/photo's to maybe limit it a bit? It's not hard to do and you can do it in such a way that doesn't sound mean. For such a "social network" people have trouble communicating with each other, it seems.

> While I may not have children, I have close friends who do and family that does. So what? I communicate with them just fine and share bday photos like everyone else without a problem and without being tied to facebook.

How does everyone else do this? How do people get both sets of grandparents checking the same photo sharing site where mom can take pictures at the playground and share instantly? What photo site is easy enough that the grandparents can snap photos on their smartphone (that they barely know how to use) that lets them easily upload them?

> It is not the only means of communication or file sharing.

Of course not. The network effect makes it easy to push the last few missing family members onto it for a narrow purpose.

> If you have a problem with annoying photo's without facebook, then may I suggest telling those involved with sending you too much info/photo's to maybe limit it a bit?

I would never tell new parents that. Luckily, some forms of sharing are easy to rate limit.

> For such a "social network" people have trouble communicating with each other, it seems

That's just it. Email isn't really a social network.

It's kinda like ripping off a Band-Aid. Feels good.

A bandaid that covers a lot of sensitive surface area...

All of which thrive when its gone.

So, good point!!!!!

Just full your account up with junk info, use a nickname, install ghostery, and sign up with site specific auth. I'm pretty sure Fucking in Austria has an extremely high Facebook population... I know ALOT of my friends say they come from there LOL

Then its nothing more than a forum with photos of your friends and family, downloaded them and untag yourself.

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