VCs to avoid taking money from
startupcfo.ca
startupcfo.ca
One of the most astute VCs I know and have worked with came from money and knows his way around a regatta. Hell, I've even seen him with a pastel sweater around his shoulders.
According to this random CFO guy I've never heard of, that makes my VC a 'douche bag' - but if I was raising money again, I would have that VC involved again in a second.
Sometimes criticism teaches you more about the criticizer.
We walked in and the "potential investor" said: "we haven't got time for a coffee", I replied: "well, this is where we are having the meeting"... "what HERE? doesn't he have an office? This is a very bad start."
In walked my patent attorney wearing a cagoule and a rucksack. The "potential investor" made it perfectly clear that he was not impressed (he did not even get up to shake his hand). He interrogated him for half an hour before saying: "good, you can now drink your coffee".
I realised that day, that money, is only a small part of being a great VC.
Next time, don't wait for the VC to let you drink your coffee. You could be American about it and pander to his/her ego, or you could be British (since you use both word forms I am assuming you're also a transplant) about it and tell him to go fuck himself.
The cattle farmer:
Goes to pitch events to pick startups to invest to. Watches every pitch as if it was cattle on the auction block.
The Bro:
Only invests because he thinks you are cool. No interest whatsoever in seeing you succeed.
The mother:
Wants people to know that he gave birth to your idea.
The loan shark:
Calls every week to ask you about his money.
The infomercial:
Only talks about how awesome your life/starup would be if you did X (something they came up with).
Winners do whatever necessary to engage their business idea. That may or may not include taking money from anyone in that list.
There's a term for someone who will take on a partner no questions asked, as long as they have enough money ....
Winners marry for money! Only the game matters!
I wonder if you're actually trolling or just incredibly naive.
The problem is that a lot of these folks don't know how far they're actually going. They end up buying a car to drive around the corner or just down the block. And now they have to deal with parking, gas, insurance, etc.
Even worse, they're usually going in the wrong direction initially. It's a much better strategy to start on foot, go for a quick walk, and then get a bicycle. When the bike's tires are bald, then it's time to think about buying a car.
If you've driven there before (or somewhere very similar) either alone or in the passenger seat, then maybe you can skip straight to buying a car. But then again, it's a different time of day and traffic is unpredictable.
And once you're driving, don't be afraid to pull over and ask for directions!
And you've just made it look uglier with those noob-ish buttons.
I really don't think they appreciate just how unique their situation is over there.
1. A finance guy
2. A name dropper of numerous corporations... Mind you, this is LinkedIn... But I seem to see that in a lot of places...
3. A director on 4 boards
4. A snappy dresser: http://about.me/markmacleod
Ok, I'm being harsh here. I'm sure he's fine, but if you followed his own advise, you'd have to rule him out!
"Types of VCs to avoid taking money from" would be better. It sounds like he's going to name actual people to avoid, rather than general VC archetypes.
Collecting logos - now that's a new one. I used to call that "buying trophies" :)
Another saying that I have about Silicon Valley is that it's "Wall Street with jeans".
There's a lot of money, and a lot of power sloshing around. It's not all fairytales and lollipops. When you get here prepare to get fucked. Repeatedly.
Before dealing with anyone always ask yourself this question:
> "How are they fucking me?"
It's a line I stole from Jim Messina - Obama's reelection campaign manager. It's proven quite useful.
Oh and one last important heuristic: never trust a suit. Engineers can be pretty bad at fucking each other when they become founders - but then again by then they're just suits.
An even better heuristic: trust no one.
PS - watch this video and get your cynicism on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzNRUkl9BoY
But remember: Anyone that he lists does not work for you. Odds are high that your company will fail, and that person knows where his next meal ticket is coming from.
It's a shame so many investors talk about which types of people not to take money from but never give names. It's high school all over again.
My guess is that he was thinking of specific people when he wrote each.