I would say Mr. Joe Celko's "SQL for smarties" (and basically anything he has written (look him up for references)....
I have had the opportunity to talk to mr. Celko, and he added (as I asked him what he thought was the best database-book) the "Manga Guide to Databases" (seriously!), I am reading it now (but I am only in the second chapter), and it seems very good...
If you need a good database which honors the standard behaviour closely and has super documentation (and very clean codebase), take a look at Postgresql. The fact that is is free and open source (bsd licensened) does not hurt at all :)
The big leap is imho, the difference between procedural (do-this-do-that code like most programming languages) and declarative syntax (I want "xxxx" and I don't care how you get it) which is how SQL works... And thinking in sets...
Recommend Postgres' own concise tutorial: http://www.postgresql.org/docs/9.2/static/tutorial-sql.html for starters.
Also, after you've cracked joins, learn the 'WITH' clause ( http://www.postgresql.org/docs/9.0/static/queries-with.html ), it's good: 'WITH' restructures the more difficult 'middle-outward' subquery syntax to a top-down 'detail-to-summary' structure. Far easier to build, debug, and re-grok 6 months later.
http://www.amazon.com/Database-Primer-Micro-computer-books/d...