Aaron Swartz, Suicide, Depression, Enough.
Maybe a little background info. Early 30s, depressed for many years. Tried committing suicide once, thinking about it all the time.
January 11, 2013 was another normal day for me. Woke up hoping that I'll feel better that day which I did. Started my daily routine in my bed by checking twitter, reddit and this website. Both twitter and HN were full of Aaron's news. Sad.
Someone made a comment saying everyone should be careful because this news might trigger suicidal thoughts on people with depression. Like myself.
I miss those days that I couldn't put myself into shoes of a suicidal person. Many of you are lucky.
Yes, the news triggered a lot of things in my mind about disappearing. Yet, I tried to approach this in a positive way.
Even though it was only 3 days ago, I can not remember what those positive thoughts were. Sorry.
The only positive thing about the event that I can think of is... that... Aaron is in peace now. He found a permanent solution to his problems. And he is not suffering anymore.
My psychiatrist appointment is in 16 days. Sorry, 17. I'm going to start taking medicine again. I thought my depression was getting better and I was able to function like normal person again for awhile. I realized I was wrong so I tried making this appointment last month.
My old therapist gave the information of this psychiatrist. I don't want to search for a psychiatrist. You don't know how hard it is to do it. Finding psychiatrists, looking up online if they have good reviews, calling them on phone, telling your life story... on a phone... to a stranger... again... again... That's why I followed my old therapist's recommendation and got an appointment from this new psychiatrist. I had one bad experience with one psychiatrist and heard many bad stories from others. Nightmare.