I don't mean to seem rude, but please, seek help. This doesn't sound like a healthy way to think and feel.
The system is not there to help, it's a kafkaesque self-sustaining bureaucracy.
I do agree that suicidal thoughts aren't altogether healthy, but I'd also argue that blithely wandering through life without the merest shred of existential doubt is equally unhealthy.
Well let me tell you something.
It's bullshit.
That there might be a difference between 'objective' and 'subjective' happiness is triply-silly Cartesian dualist bullshit. You are absolutely embedded in the world, your happiness is not an abstract value that floats around on its own. And you won't be institutionalised for presenting with depression. The Kafkaesque bureaucracy was dismantled decades ago.
Ultimately, I can't help you. In fact, by arguing, I cause you to harden your position. I'm hurting you.
There is no more fuss in getting help for your brain acting up than getting help for having a dysfunctional pancreas or high blood pressure.
The only difference is that the symptoms are the sensors, that's all.
Let's agree to stop here.
My madness is both my undoing, and my doing. I would not have quit a highly paid job to strike out on my own and grow a successful business, were I not terminally malcontent. I would not strive as I do to improve both my lot and that of others, were it not for the fact that I always have a gnawing sense of "this could be better".
Either way, don't worry for my sake - while I may ideate suicide, I also ideate being an old man with crazy eyebrows. I don't think I'd class myself as clinically depressed, rather overly empathic and terminally frustrated at the human condition.
Glad you found the help you needed, and that it works for you.
I can definitely relate to some of this. Depression so profoundly altered the course of my life that I basically can't imagine what would have happened without it. Some of those consequences are really good and they make me happy.
I wish you every good fortune.
My experiences with the psychiatric system have been extremely positive, even in a small town like the one I live. The system is actually so unbureaucratic that I never received a single bill for all the help I got (except for the medication of course).
Or, for something more persistent it might involve community psychotherapy and medication.
"lengthy" stays in hospital should be unusual for depressive illness, unless it's major depression, where the illness has been severely affecting the person's day to day life for some time.
That being said, I tend to agree with you to be more conservative, but I've had similar thoughts as the guy you're replying to and know without a doubt that I'd never kill myself. Of course, there's probably a psychological argument that me knowing that is up for debate.
(Don't take this as displeasure with your efforts in this thread: thank you.)
People in a normal mood just don't think about suicide.
It's a reliable signal that something is wrong. And given how available help is, the smart thing to do is seek help.
My question is: what are the forms of help that are available? I know of A) therapy and B) medication.
I've spoken to 5 therapist for a couple sessions each, and my impression was that they are just normal people who you can talk to. They're not people who have answers, nor do they conduct their sessions with an overarching strategic plan. Rather, they're just people who you can talk to, and they will try their best to listen, even if they don't necessarily understand what you say. I know a lot of people benefit from this, but when I tried option A I didn't get anything out of it.
In my case, my mental suffering derives from loneliness. I follow John Cacioppo's work on the subject, and he claims that loneliness is a biological signal (just like hunger) that requires a response. I believe in his explanation, and so to me applying medication to ease loneliness would be similar to giving someone a pill to end their feeling of being hungry. To me that's not really a solution: in the case of hunger, food is the solution, and in the case of loneliness, connection is the solution.
Neither forms of help seem to me like they will help in my particular case. However when you say there's easy help available, you sound very confident. What am I missing?
I found this:
http://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/Suicide-Myths.html
> Myth: All suicidal people are mentally ill. 'Normal' people do not think about suicide.
> Fact: Thoughts of suicide are not uncommon and can occur for anyone. People who see suicide as an option are in emotional pain and may be desperately unhappy. Although mental illnesses such as depression, bipolar disorder and schizophrenia may be associated with suicidal thinking and behaviour, not everyone who contemplates suicide is living with mental illness.
They don't cite their sources, though it seems to be an australian national suicide prevention site so presumably their claims are not just made up.
This question is really about the stigma of suicidal ideation ("Oh no, what if I'm a crazy person?"), rather than the fact that suicidal ideation is a serious symptom that should trigger reaching out for help.