Comment by bpdthrow | Hacker News Reader

Comment by bpdthrow | Hacker News Reader

Aaron suffered from a brain disorder. He had documented periods of extreme withdrawn depression and others of mild manic productivity.

Because of that brain disorder, perhaps because it was not attacked with the requisite treatment, he is dead.

If you or a loved one are ever feeling suicidal, depressed, or are acting abnormally erratic, contact an expert. It's nothing to be ashamed about. It's just a lottery of genetic expression.

There are others going through the same thing. There are excellent treatments available, and they get better each year. You might save someone's life.

http://www.reddit.com/r/suicidewatch http://www.reddit.com/r/depression http://www.reddit.com/r/bipolarreddit

I find it bizarre how quickly our minds jump to impossibly unlikely reasons when tragic events like this happen. Troubles with the justice department don't alone cause a bright young man to kill himself.

> I was miserable. I couldn't stand San Francisco. I couldn't stand office life. I couldn't stand Wired. I took a long Christmas vacation. I got sick. I thought of suicide. I ran from the police. And when I got back on Monday morning, I was asked to resign.

> I followed these rules. And here I am today, with a dozen projects on my plate and my stress level through the roof once again.

https://aaronsw.jottit.com/howtoget

http://www.aaronsw.com/weblog/dying

> I have a lot of illnesses. I don’t talk about it much, for a variety of reasons. I feel ashamed to have an illness. (It sounds absurd, but there still is an enormous stigma around being sick.)

> Sadly, depression (like other mental illnesses, especially addiction) is not seen as “real” enough to deserve the investment and awareness of conditions like breast cancer (1 in 8) or AIDS (1 in 150). And there is, of course, the shame.

http://www.aaronsw.com/weblog/verysick

In his short life Aaron has produced a wonderful collection of writing, code, and actions, which will all be available for years to come. He will be missed. His effects have not yet ceased.

> Troubles with the justice department don't alone cause a bright young man to kill himself.

A potential to spend a longer part of his life than he has already lived in prison, will probably have a serious impact on anyone's mental state.

This, seriously. People need to stop excusing the federal government for the monster that it really is. Yes Aaron was depressed, do you really think the DoJ had absolutely nothing to do with that? I'd argue their constant indictments had a lot to do with it.

Let's say I'm a guy that obsesses over a girl I like. I send her creepy messages and generally make her uncomfortable. She gets a restraining order against me and I kill my self.

Would you be sitting here blaming the girl and the restraining order laws in the US?

I feel like many people here are trying to get their own opinions out by blaming the law that he broke (and the government).

Its not really comparable though. As far as its been written up he was facing the potential of over 50 years in prison.

That would put anyone under a massive amount of pressure, and does seem pretty unpleasant given his "crime" was so small.

Your analogy doesn't take into account political activism, which is acknowledged as a social good in the US almost every time our founding story is taught. Even then it would be a bad analogy.

A restraining order is also very different from the threat of excessive imprisonment.

If it was a threat of excessive imprisonment in your hypothetical situation, yes, the courts and laws would get a share in the blame. Not specifically for committing suicide, but for making your life needlessly worse.

> People need to stop excusing the federal government for the monster that it really is.

As the son of a federal employee, I feel I should address this specific sentence. Let's not confuse a couple of jerks for the entirety of the federal government. Many large organizations produce stupid, indefensible actions but I feel like your phrasing is overly broad.

Perhaps he's suffered from clinical depression? http://www.aaronsw.com/weblog/verysick

From reading that, it doesn't sound much like clinical depression but a lot like ME. Especially the digestive stuff and how it makes you bed-bound.

I've known a couple of people hit really hard by ME (it takes years out of their lives and they are constantly ill and unable to live fully), and depression follows the reality of ME... not the other way around.

http://www.meresearch.org.uk/information/whatisme.html

Both of the people I know who has ME started charting their physical state and comfort/discomfort of various bodily systems over time to try and gain a deeper insight and desperately seek some handling mechanism. Even though migraines, aches and pains were the initial symptoms, their own charts showed the upset stomach, cramps, etc being the dominant constant.

Both ended up very depressed from it... and that was without any external pressures being introduced.

/dying was very painful to read. Does Alex symbolize Reddit? Does the key lime cookie symbolize the money involved in the acquisition of the payment Reddit got? Is the "cafe trying hard to be international" the acquirer? Maybe I am reading into this too much, but the timing of that post seems too coincidental. It's almost like his will died with that whole process. RIP.

Thank you for this write up. It's nice to see this rational, weighed view on the incident among reactive speculations and accusations. But why a throw-away account?

Can you provide more information about which brain disorder?

It's a way of describing "depression" in a way that doesn't feel compatible with blame.

He was more accurately describing bipolar disorder, whether he realized it or not.

Are you implying that depression or BPD is 'compatibile with blame'? If so, that's absurd.

I think he meant that there's a stigma associated with depression—that many of us unfortunately view depression as the "fault" of depressed individuals, as if it were some sort of choice they make.

No one would ever blame you for a [genetic] heart disorder. In the same way, no one would ever blame you for a [genetic] brain disorder. Phrasing it as such removes some of the stigma.

I used to use the analogy of type I diabetes, but now people are mixing it up with type II.

I think that the way to beat the stigma is talk openly about it.

> I think that the way to beat the stigma is talk openly about it.

Easier to say than to do. If you're depressed / bipolar / schizophrenic and talk about it openly it can make people very uncomfortable, which can result in their not wanting to be around you, which can result in further isolation for you, which can make your situation worse.

It can be. I've found that being very matter-of-fact about it works for me, but I have a reasonably social personality.

People with mood disorders (e.g. depression, bipolar, cyclothymia) and psychotic illnesses (e.g. bipolar, schizophrenia, schizoaffective) are at elevated risk of suicide. People with anxiety disorders (e.g. social anxiety, OCD) also tend to be prone to depression.

I'm not a big fan of diagnostic labels. Every individual is a different case. [disclaimer, worked in acute mental health, and brain injury rehab total seven years, before getting sucked into the software and analytics industries]

The description, from Aaron's writings, sounds like untreated (and possibly undiagnosed) bipolar.

I may be seeing this through bipolar-coloured glasses - I don't have it myself, but I have loved ones with it and know very well what it looks like from outside. It's not normal ups and downs of mood, it can be really scary stuff.

The legal case probably didn't help, but it's quite possible there could have been no way to stop this short of someone present on depression watch.

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