Comment by ForrestN | Hacker News Reader

Comment by ForrestN | Hacker News Reader

I'm gay and this analogy is strained and opportunistic.

The charged moment when you're buying flowers for a same-sex partner is charged psychologically, not because of external fears. I live in a very liberal city, and there's almost zero chance I'm going to get bullied by the lady at the flower shop. It's charged because of how I grew up, because of the other people who made me feel like an outsider or a freak, because of what it means more broadly that the world, even this city, is set up for other people.

None of that comes into complaining about the speakers being on the wrong side of a TV. True, you can use slippery language to say that these are both "standing up for truth" or something, but in reality the motives behind each gesture are totally different. Standing up for quality as a person in a supply chain might be admirable, but it is not a "coming out" and it is not emotionally charged in the same way that revealing your homosexuality, over and over again, still is.

He talks to the cab driver because not doing so would mean rejecting himself. You mention the speakers because you want your company to do well and you're frustrated that the person who's job it is missed something blatant.

There is some fundamental truth here though.

I'm not in college you see. Even though I went for three years and was doing perfectly fine GPA wise, and was on track to a "dream career" with the admiration of everybody around me even though I knew I was not learning very much in school.

I decided to take that another path, where I actually try to measure what I learn beyond the grade inflation that was rampant at school and the mind-numbing pace at which things were offered and the lack of curiosity with which most things (not all) were perused.

I have not rejected my family though, nor their friends, nor any of my friends and everytime I get asked, at least once a week or so (or used to), "What are you studying?"

I tell them, "Nothing."

People don't believe it and usually I am being bullied into going back. (I wanted to say it was a discussion, but these people usually never listen to me.)

Sometimes I get the feeling that I should lie to them, but to do so would be to deny the legitmacy of what I am doing. I usually hope the mention of that comes off with little reaction and we can go on as if everything was ok.

That usually never happens and I have to risk the chance of getting bullied one more time, often by people whom I like and care about. To say something different however, that's out of the question.

A "let's talk about that later" is sometimes considered, but when you say that, the other person ALWAYS gets real curious and wants to ask you again. I'm in Latin America you see, and privacy here is not as respected...

I'm dealing with this all of the time, and I have a go-to solution for you (try it) – bury them in evidence. They aren't trying to argue YOU into something. They are trying to argue THEMSELVES into it, you just knocked their value-system over, after all; they want to KNOW they're STILL OK.

So, give them some more.

"I quit school, didn't seem that important. Oh, and I'm planning on trying the gay thing, seems people are more and more into it, maybe there's something there, my Imam said so himself. Do you have any plans for the summer? I need someone to help me build a base-jumping tower outside the town, and sell tickets."

As long as you're talking they are not. My life is weird enough for me to go on like that for hours, and all of it can be true, too.

Cheers. :)

I'm straight... and I agree the analogy is strained.

I do want to disagree a bit with your last sentence. In my experience, people don't care too much about excelling at their jobs for the sake of their company. Of course there are some exceptions, especially at the upper rungs, but for the most part people do what they need to in order to get by. If the product is good enough and you're not going to take the heat for it, you don't say anything.

I've also noticed that the ones that are willing to speak up and ensure that a product/service/experience is top notch are the ones who have an internal drive to do so. My high school chemistry teacher was very fond of the phrase, "Take pride in your work". It's probably one of the most helpful bits of advice I've ever received.

Whether his analogy could have been better or not is besides the point, IMHO. Not sure I get what you mean by analogy being "opportunistic." He used it in his introduction. It worked for me. In fact, that's an example a good use case. Anyways, I guess it's just a difference of opinion, which is fine and interesting. Cheers :)

It's opportunistic because the only reason anyone is interested in this article is because he is framing it in terms of his personal life and, unfortunately, writing about being gay is still eye-catching.

Had he used another analogy, the article would have been much less unique and remarkable. It's got whatever traction it does have because the insight supposedly comes from his experience as a gay man. Because I think that experience doesn't imply or even really relate much to the lesson he's imparting, it feels like we can infer that maybe he chose the analogy knowing it would have publicity value (rather than because it's a good analogy).

> the only reason anyone is interested in this article is because he is framing it in terms of his personal life

That would hold more weight if "gay" was in the title. It wasn't. That he is gay was an easy analogy for him to make. There are many other people that aren't gay that could make the same analogy with aspects of their life.

Being gay isn't the point. That you are gay doesn't add weight to your point either. If anything, it suggests that your ideas like merit to stand on their own.

How horrid. "Unfortunately, writing about being gay is still eye-catching." Shame on you.

Follow ForrestN's commentary from the top. It's difficult to see why you would point a finger.

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