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I envy your lack of familiarity with excel/sheets

I’ve never seen an excel sheet with a sticky header broken in this way

Oh, I didn't realize it's broken! I thought you were just surprised that the header stayed in place while the table scrolled.

But only vertically, certainly not horizontally!

OHHH - yeah, that's messed up. I didn't realize it did that!

It’s just poor ux on mobile