half a grand for a tablet with a PI as the core running a weak LLM seems ... bad. Maybe I'm missing the point, but this doesn't seem like a useful product to me.

"Self healing" doesn't sound like a feature to me. It sounds like the product so regularly borks itself it needed nasty safegaurds put in to not, and it was done in a weird way that's annoying to diagnose and fix. Your most stand out feature being it doesn't break it self isn't great. Otherwise, it's what? Fancy on-prem Alexa? Why wouldn't I just setup Home Assistant Voice?

I suspect normal HN readers aren't your target market, but I don't really see who is?